I am a recent convert to the Catholic Church, and can tell you it can be a very hard slog sometimes. It seems to be one of the last institutions to have held onto a solid, and unchanging set of moral truths. I could be much more comfortable in that coffee shop Sunday mornings reading the NYT, surfing match.com for my next hook up. But, when things get tough, I find the local City Pages and pull out one of your columns. The depth and breadth of emptiness to be found among the many pointless orgasms you recommend is enough to give me new hope that I'm making the right decision, and that my church has been right all along. I have to believe that you do this same kind of service for so many. Of course, you can't be nominated for sainthood, but some sort of honorable mention might be arranged.

Sustained By Savage

You're welcome, SBS, but stay away from those priests—they're no strangers to pointless orgasms. I don't mean to imply that you're in any sort of personal danger, of course, provided that you're a convert over 12 years of age.