Long time reader, first time writer. So I've recently begun a relationship with, whom I believe, the girl of my dreams. We're amazing together, get along famously and have great sex. I've never been so open and honest with someone right from the get-go or at all for that matter. There's nothing I want more than to make this work. Here's the issue: I have a tendency to watch gay porn occasionally. I think it's crazy fucking hot. I mean, I watch and like other porn too (e.g. straight vanilla & tranny) but liking gay porn as much as I do kind of throws me. I've always identified as hetero and have only been with women. I don't have any interest in meeting up with guys in real life. I'm sincere when I say I'm not a closeted homo. I've already considered that route and have ruled it out as men just don't do it for me like women do. Question being: do I tell my new found love that I masturbate to gay porn from time to time? Or should I just keep it to myself? I really care about this girl and want to be forward and honest with her about everything. Let me know what you think, Dan, and thanks.

Watches Men But Loves Women

Sent from the Savage Love App for iPhone

My response after the jump...

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It's better to be upfront about a harmless sexual quirk—and I'd file an enjoyment of gay porn, despite no interest in actual gay sex, under "quirk"—than it is to look like you were hiding something when you inevitably get caught. So here's what you do, WMBLW...

When your relationship reaches the stage where you begin opening up to each other about your sexual interests, histories, and quirks, tell your new girlfriend that you like all sorts of porn—men with women, women with women, chicks with dicks, even men with men—and in this respect you're kinda like a girl. Direct her to results of this easy-on-the-brain porn study documented by the New York Times.

Sex researcher Meredith Chivers showed various kinds of porn—men with men, women with women, men with women, bonobos with bonobos—to straight men, gay men, straight women, and lesbians. The men responded to "category specific" porn. The gay guys liked the gay porn, the straight guys liked the straight porn, and none of the guys cared for the ape porn. But the female subjects...

All was different with the women. No matter what their self-proclaimed sexual orientation, they showed, on the whole, strong and swift genital arousal when the screen offered men with men, women with women and women with men. They responded objectively much more to the exercising woman than to the strolling man, and their blood flow rose quickly—and markedly, though to a lesser degree than during all the human scenes except the footage of the ambling, strapping man—as they watched the apes.

Don't think of—and don't present—your ability to get into any kind of porn as a problem, WMBLW, but as a perk. Just think of all the porn you'll be able to enjoy together! Straight, gay, lesbian, bonobo! What a catch you are!