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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Drunk / Girls Only! Women Get Drunker Than Men, and Why That Ain't Fair!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Apr 13, 2011 at 10:14 AM

According to a recent medical study, the reason why women supposedly get drunker faster than men is not because of their smaller stature, but because they hold less water in their bodies. A typical man is made up of 65% water, while a woman is 55%. From the Daily Mail:

Dr Marsha Morgan, of University College London Medical School, explains: ‘Alcohol is absorbed into the blood and then carried in water in cells. Because women have less body water than men, they are likely to end up with a higher blood concentration of alcohol after the same amount of drink.’

And dig this!

If a man and woman of the same weight were given the same dose of alcohol, the blood alcohol levels in the woman would be about a third higher. ‘A 65kg man will have the same blood alcohol level after a triple gin as a 65kg woman would have after a double measure,’ Dr Morgan says.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?? It means the following:

1) I shouldn't have to buy my female companions a triple gin, when a double will make her just as drunk as me. MONEY SAVING TIP, GUYS!
2) Police should judge men and women on a different DUI scale. For example, as the law stands right now, if a woman and I drink the same amount and drive, we're both punished exactly the same! The woman should be punished more, since she's a third drunker!
3) Wait... that doesn't make any sense. Okay, let me try that again. Since women get a third more drunk than men, and I get arrested for blowing a .08, then a woman's Breathalyzer result shouldn't be the same as mine—it should be a third LESS, right? So in all fairness, women should be arrested if they blow a .027.
4) Okay, I'm pretty sure that didn't make any sense either.
5) How about this: Since a woman gets a third drunker than me, I should at least get discounted drinks, or they should be charged more. Whichever works for the bar owner.
6) No? Okay, well, whatever, but I do feel that, as a man, I'm being treated unfairly in this scenario, and that somebody owes me a drink. And I think it's you women. YEAH! Women owe me a drink. ALL OF YOU! WHERE'S MY DRINK, WOMEN??

 

Comments (4) RSS

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1
You drink is in the left bottom drawer of you desk same as always. Maybe you are starting a little early today.
Posted by Rosy on April 13, 2011 at 10:33 AM · Report
2
Ha! Men carry 10% more water. That is why we rule the world, ladies. We can bloviate for hours without getting dry mouth.
Posted by Night Moves on April 13, 2011 at 10:41 AM · Report
3
men are water
Posted by Raptured Randy Savage on April 13, 2011 at 7:55 PM · Report
4
So you're saying that women are more dense than men? Smart move, Humphrey.

While you were at the Daily Mail, how did you miss this amazingly astounding story about Val Kilmer visiting a cafe in Beverly Hills? Ah, the Daily Mail!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/artic…
Posted by Todd Mecklem on April 13, 2011 at 8:25 PM · Report

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