As briefly mentioned in Good Morning, News! (which Sarah forgot to do, and I'm still pissed about it), our resident brainiac Denis Theriault was unseated last night from his throne as reigning champion of Jeopardy! I am nevertheless extremely proud of his performance, because he was faced with two ball-busting boards, and a VERY cute competitor. (The girl on the end, not the weird old guy that looked like Creed from The Office.)

HOWEVER! As brilliant as Denis was (especially when he pulled that Double Jeopardy answer out of his ass during round two), there was his very controversial (AND DEAD WRONG) answer in Final Jeopardy. The topic was: "The first president to put solar panels on the White House." And while the other two contestants correctly guessed "Who is Jimmy Carter?" Denis decided his best answer was "Who is George W. Bush?"

Ummm… HUH? This answer obviously needed some 'splainin', which Denis was happy to provide.

Unlike most Americans, who blurted out the answer immediately, I didn't know it. Ask me which presidents were elected to second terms but failed to complete them, and I'm there. (Incidentally, the night after my taping, that was the Final Jeopardy clue. I got it; the three contestants did not. Sigh.) And when it came to a guess, I froze up. Instead of puzzling through to the logical answer—Jimmy Motherfucking Carter—I overthought things and went with the "counterintuitive" choice, deciding this was a "trick" question. Again, if I'd taken a second to ponder things like, oh, oil shocks, and lowered thermostats, and a national urging to put on sweaters, I'd have won a shit-ton more money. I'd be getting drunk in front of the TV tonight.

It's okay, Denis! I guessed Millard Fillmore.
ANYWAY, NICE WORK, DENIS! We're all giddily proud, and besides, as you say in your very entertaining feature this week, "Every Jeopardy! winner is eventually a Jeopardy! loser. (Though you'll always be a Mercury winner to us. All together now... AWWWWWWWW!!!!)