GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Good morning, room! Good morning, balloon! And good morning, cow jumping over the moon. LET'S GO TO PRESS!

On the heels of 10,000 protesters being arrested in Syria, the government has also decided to start shelling residential neighborhoods. Good morning, overkill!

Meanwhile in Libya, good ol' fashioned REVENGE killings are apparently on the rise.

A ten-year-old boy in California kills his father. The upside? Dad was a neo-Nazi.

As expected, Newt Gingrich will be wasting his time and everyone else's with a run for the White House.

Meanwhile, Obama's approval ratings hop upwards to 60 percent, with more than half polled saying he deserves to be reelected.

The swollen Mississippi River continues to swamp every town in its path.

Today in "That was too good to be true": The Navy abruptly changes its mind about allowing same-sex marriage ceremonies on their bases once "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is revoked, pending further review.

Indiana dickhole governor Mitch Daniels puts further restrictions on abortion, while cutting off funding to Planned Parenthood.

During a concert in the Phillipines, Justin Bieber vomits his guts out backstage—YET FINISHES THE SHOW. His vomit is currently fetching $2,500 on eBay.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Showery with sunbreaks and highs in the mid to lower-60s through the end of the week. (Friday's your best bet for continual sun!)

And finally, it wasn't just the White House keeping a close eye on the takedown of Osama bin Laden...

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Get off your lazy asses, Super Friends!! via