Red dots would indicate the start of the Apocalypse.
  • Red dots would indicate the start of the Apocalypse.
Earthquakes meant to sort (finally!) the heathen chaff from the Christian wheat—and end life on Earth as we know it—were supposed to have started tonight in New Zealand, according to a very old California radio preacher. And then the death would have kept rolling through the time zones until, y'know, we all died here in Oregon roughly in time for the evening news.

But as the Los Angeles Times is helpfully reporting:

As of 10:30 p.m. PDT—7:30 p.m. May 21 on Christmas Island, also known as Kiritimati—no earthquakes had been reported within the last hour and a half, according to the U.S. Geological Survey, which tracks seismic activity worldwide.

So that's good news. I guess.