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<i>The Night Before</i>'s Three Wise Men


The Night Before's Three Wise Men

Wait, That Should Read "Three Dumbasses"

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Frank Cassano's "Blogtown in Review"

Posted by Frank Cassano on Sat, May 21, 2011 at 8:59 AM

Yes, it's Saturday. Yes, these posts usually go up on Friday. Congratulations, fucknut! Wasting your life by reading the internet on weekends has clearly honed your observational skills to razor-sharp perfection!

• STOP THE MOTHERFUCKING PRESSES! SARAH MIRK FOUND HERSELF A SCOOP! "McDonald's is a good place to find politically apathetic people." Imbecile.

• Marjorie Skinner dove deep into the world of jewelry made from cat hair. Blogtown: where depressing cat ladies go to die alone.

• Still confused about the difference between "blogging" with "creating annoying polls," Wm. Steven Humphrey attempted to make some jokes about the world coming to an end.

• Denis C. Theriault somehow managed to be boring even when writing about a stripper.

• To the surprise of no one, Tony "Hic!" Perez advocated drinking in public.

• Ned Lannamann introduced Blogtown's unfortunate readers to one more band they won't remember in three weeks.

• Ezra "Ace" Caraeff proudly announced his dumb little music blog is teaming up with PBR to sponsor a "'70s night at Mississippi Studios." If some cretin were ever to set out to create a parody of an obnoxious hipster newspaper in Portland, Oregon, I would encourage them not to waste their time doing what has already been done.

• Alison Hallett posted another author interview that no one bothered to read. Authors: Stop wasting your time.

• The spineless pussy Erik Henriksen made some passive-aggressive whimperings in the general direction of KOIN 6's Ken Boddie. Meanwhile, I emailed some aggressive photographs of myself to KGW's Stephanie Stricklen.

I will return next week, and not one moment before. I urge you to do the same.

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