Hm. I'm looking through the last couple of weeks' worth of Savage Love mail and finding a lot of accusations styled as questions about the Arnold Schwarzenegger love-child unpleasantness. It's all my fault, you see, because I'm a big proponent of nonmonogamous/monogamish relationships, and aging Hollywood action stars don't drop their drawers without checking in with me first. And look what nonmonogamy did for Arnold and his family! Poor Maria! Look at the chaos that being nonmonogamous creates! Failed marriages! Devastated children! Scandalous scandals!
But Arnold Schwarzenegger wasn't in a nonmonogamous relationship. He was in a monogamous relationship. Arnold failed monogamy. He didn't succeed at nonmonogamy.
Please make a note of it.