GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Just a reminder that the "scone" is God's most despised cookie. LET'S GO TO PRESS!

Obama addresses the British Parliament, which means there were many "Huzzahs!", a few "Harrumphs!", and a tuppence for the birds, guv'nah!

Former prez nominee John Edwards is in the soup, for allegedly using campaign funds to cover up his affair with his mistress. (Isn't that what one is supposed to use campaign funds for?)

More storms hit Joplin, Missouri as the death count from Sunday's mega tornado rises to 125.

The Syrian crackdown on their uprising continues—but this time they're torturing and killing KIDS.

Continued trouble for those nuclear reactors in Japan which have holes in them.

Not only do Americans get fewer vacation days than other industrialized countries, we also opt to take fewer days off—because we have better things to do than loaf around Parisian cafes sipping espresso and nibbling on baguettes! USA! USA! USA!!

Oprah Winfrey tapes her last show, for those who can still care less.

Something else to brag about: Portland is number four on the list of "cities on the edge of greatness"—as commissioned by Edge Shaving Cream. (They wouldn't say that if they saw all the goddamn beards in this town.)

In case you missed it, two gay men were beaten down on the Hawthorne Bridge by a gang of fucking cowards—leading to a frank, interesting discussion on Blogtown of what one should do if one bears witness to such a cowardly spectacle.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: More cool and showery weather ahead with a brief respite this weekend.

And finally, today in probably unintentional racism...

But still... whoops.