GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! And even though we both fly, we give each other space and not the evil eye. Let's go to press!

President Obama and his security team are discussing moving those troops out of Afghanistan at a much quicker pace than previously discussed.

Five American soldiers killed in Iraq—reports say a rocket hit a U.S. base in Baghdad.

Okay, so maybe sprouts aren't the problem in Germany's continuing E.Coli infestation. CHECK THE BRATWURST, GUYS.

Rick Santorum finally makes his bid for President! Let's chant, everybody! Santorum! Santorum! SANTORUM!! (Ew. Anybody got a moist towelette?)

President Ali Abdullah Saleh vows to return home to Yemen—that is, after he recovers from two surgeries caused by a rocket attack on his compound.

Armed groups in Syria ambush and kill 40 police and security forces.

Ex-IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn pleads NOT GUILTY to sexually assaulting a hotel housekeeper.

Today Steve Jobs is expected to introduce Apple's newest innovation, the iCloud. Expect "showers" of enthusiasm! (God, I hate myself. Stab, stab, stab, DIE.)

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: iCloudy today, and 72.

And finally, get ready to SQUEEEEEEEEEEE in hilarity! Here's the new Twilight: Breaking Dawn trailer—in which Jacob gets so pissed over Bella and Edward's upcoming marriage, he rips off his shirt! SQUEEEEEEEE!