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Friday, June 17, 2011

Drugs Blogtown Review: Marley's Mellow Mood

Posted by Ezra Ace Caraeff on Fri, Jun 17, 2011 at 9:59 AM

Praise Jah, so many flavor options!
  • Praise Jah, so many flavor options!

Ever since Bob Marley passed away from cancer 30 years ago, his family has tastefully maintained his legacy without soiling his reputation and... oh, who am I kidding? Every Marley in the pool! We're making some money off this shit!

Marley's Mellow Mood, the new line of 100% natural relaxation beverages created with the family of Bob Marley, announces its sponsorship of Stephen Marley's Revelation Part 1: The Root of Life Tour. The North American leg of Stephen Marley's summer tour, which kicks off in Ventura, California, on June 8, will hit more than 30 venues in June and July, reaching thousands of fans in the US and Canada who are sure to be relaxed and "feeling alright," with their Marley's Mellow Mood in hand and Stephen coming through the speakers.

Marley's Mellow Mood is designed to reduce stress and relieve tension, while calming the soul and easing the mind. A portion of all sales benefits 1Love.org, the Marley family nonprofit initiative, which works to continue promoting the legacy of their father by supporting charities that empower youth, protect the planet and promote peace.

"Marley's Mellow Mood helps carry forward Bob Marley's legacy and belief that calm breeds peace, respect and love," said Paul Fuegner, chief marketing officer, ViVa Beverages LLC.

Well, if the chief marketing officer of ViVa Beverages LLC says so, I'm in. Marley's Mellow Mood sent me a shipment of their product—plus it came in this gigantic family-sized stash box—but how would the drink compare to the other deceased rock star beverages that we just randomly made up (Brian Jones Soda, Squirt Cobain, John Lennonade, Jimi Hendrinx)? Since our last taste test went so well, looks like it's time to stop working and to start downing some "premium relaxation drinks."

The Flavors
1. Berry
2. Citrus
3. Rootin' Tootin' Rasta Rasberry Black Tea
4. Green Tea and Honey

Hey, Mercury Coworkers, How Does it Taste?
"Totally generic."
"Meh. Would be better if there was weed floating in it, sort of like bubble tea."
"I am not drinking that."
"Can we put rum in it?" (Marissa said that)
"It tastes more like Ziggy Marley than Bob Marley."
"I tried the Berry, but I did not try to Black Tea." (sung to the tune of "I Shot the Sheriff")

Are You "Feeling Alright"?
Is "white guilt" a feeling that should be triggered by a beverage? Because, basically, I just a drank a Snapple in a bottle wrapped in Rasta colors.

If Bob Marley Was Alive Today, Would He Drink This?
Fuck no.

 

Comments (6) RSS

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1
This is the stuff of Legend.
Posted by Nathan Jr on June 17, 2011 at 10:41 AM · Report
2
But really, it would taste better with rum.
Posted by Marissa Sullivan on June 17, 2011 at 11:01 AM · Report
3
If I was a cynical person, I'd say that this was a blatant cash grab towards the 7-11 stoner market.

. . .

This is a blatant cash grab towards the 7-11 stoner market.
Posted by Fruit Cup on June 17, 2011 at 11:09 AM · Report
4
It's as if Marley's estate has thrown up their hands and admitted that his core audience is now whiteboy psuedohippies who spend daddy's money on weed.
Posted by The Right Reverend Rocktimus Prime on June 17, 2011 at 12:08 PM · Report
5
This could be THE key ingredient to the mysterious Weak Sauce I kept hearing about 500 internet years ago...
Posted by Abusive on June 17, 2011 at 2:29 PM · Report
6
Not being a fan of sweet drinks, stoner culture, or celebrity marketing at ALL, I will say this: the stuff works. We sip it on those hard-to-get-to-sleep nights, and the Black Tea flavor is good enough not to put me off (I normally hate bottled tea). I would warn against drinking much more than a few ounces at a time if you're not planning to sleep!

Can this be had locally in Portland?
Posted by Yardshark on April 19, 2012 at 11:22 AM · Report

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