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Friday, June 17, 2011

Today in Those Terrible Teens: "Tag... YOU'RE DEAD!!"

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Jun 17, 2011 at 10:14 AM

The parents and old people of Beaverton have something new to panic about: Out-of-school teens playing "Fugitive: An Extreme Game of Tag!" The game is played late at night, and something like this: There are runners, drivers and chasers. The runners run through the darkened streets, while being pursued by drivers and chasers (in the cars). When a runner is spotted, the car gets as close as they can and the chaser jumps out and tags as many runners as possible. The tagged runner becomes a chaser, and the game continues.

SOUNDS TIRING. Why aren't these kids holed up in their parents' basements huffing a bong?

Anyway, this stupid, and practically harmless game has got the cops, parents, and thumb-twiddling oldsters of Beaverton all in a dither, because... well, they're BEAVERTON. According to this article from the O, 370 kids on Facebook have confirmed they will play, and another 250 are considering it—AND IT'S ALL GOING DOWN STARTING AT 10 PM TONIGHT!! PANIC!!!

Police said they are aware of the game and plan to patrol the high schools to prevent the game or a "plan B" from happening, according to Officer Pam Yazzolino, Beaverton police spokeswoman. While on patrol, police hope to teach participants about public safety, Yazzolino added.

"These 'fugitive games' are not games to the police and if a crime is committed it will be dealt with accordingly," Yazzolino said.

BOO-YAH! Did you note that tricky wordplay there from the cops? Though it usually stops bored, angst-ridden teen troublemakers in their tracks, take care when you're driving through Beaverton tonight. (Can someone please tell why there's any reason to drive through Beaverton at night?)

Dude... like, no ones gonna stop me from getting the only exercise Ive gotten all year, mumble, mumble, Ritalin.
  • "Dude... like, no one's gonna stop me from getting the only exercise I've gotten all year, mumble, mumble, Ritalin."

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