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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

?!?!? The Worst Flashmob Ever Will Appear in 15 Minutes

Posted by Sarah Mirk on Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 4:46 PM

Steer clear of Pioneer Square, everyone.

"Popular and functional beverage" manufacturer Neuro is convening a flash mob there at 5pm. The flash mob is a totally underground-grassroots surprise, which is why Neuro sent out a press release about it and hired a dance troupe!

More questionable than the "flash" and "mob" qualities of this flashmob is... what the hell is a "functional" beverage? Neuro's handy press release says it's a drink that "supports a variety of cognitive functions" (including NeuroGasm, which stimulates blood flow to the body).

It's a modern miracle! Someone has invented a drink douchier than Vitamin Water.

Anyway, 15 minutes. You've been warned.

 

Comments (10) RSS

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1
Is the opposite of a flash mob just quietly slipping away alone? Because that's what I'd do if I saw this.
Posted by Joneser on June 21, 2011 at 5:01 PM · Report
2
Gotta love 'flash' mob press releases!
Posted by D on June 21, 2011 at 5:15 PM · Report
3
Better than quietly slipping away would be to run around in a big circle jazz-handing the air wildly.
Posted by encephalopath on June 21, 2011 at 5:24 PM · Report
4
You call this the worst ever because it wasn't a surprise underground thing, but what about all of the other event and groups that do the same thing in Portland? (*cough* zombie walk "flash mob") It was a Portland dance group who spent a lot of time and energy putting a dance together and letting anyone be able to dance and celebrate the first day of summer. Anyways Pioneer Square was still packed, guess not too many cared about your warning.
Posted by Sterlina on June 21, 2011 at 5:59 PM · Report
5
Flash mobs were fun when they were a one-off / occasional thing, then became overdone, and are now dull. When something gets co-opted for unimaginative marketing (see also that ridiculous flash mob protest at New Seasons the other day), it's time to move on (and maybe come back to the idea in a few years' time).

Other things that have overstayed their welcome at this point include pirates and zombies. My money is on tall bikes being the next to go...
Posted by Stu on June 21, 2011 at 6:11 PM · Report
6
Stu, you are absolutely right! Zombies and pirates are so two years ago. I'm hoping that tall bikes and hot girls on stilts will finally disappear.
Posted by kimmy47 on June 21, 2011 at 6:18 PM · Report
7
Wow! I got caught at Pioneer Square, and saw the flash mob, and I really enjoyed it. I am certainly no marketeer, but I would imagine anytime you get a bunch of dancers together, that it requires a lot of planning to get the steps. Love Neuro, and thought it was a great healthy way to get people to try the drink, and the kids were really cute to watch.
Posted by Sarah S. on June 21, 2011 at 10:07 PM · Report
8
Pics or it didnt happen.
Posted by Rusty! on June 22, 2011 at 1:44 AM · Report
9
"Pics or it didnt happen."

Right you are. Most people are too busy to notice these silly things when they just come and go in minutes. Plus, most people aren't exactly passing by PS most of the day.

In a sense, who cares?
Posted by DamosA on June 22, 2011 at 3:55 AM · Report
10
Flush mob. At the Portland Loo. 15 minutes.
Posted by Todd Mecklem on June 22, 2011 at 6:16 AM · Report

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