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Monday, July 4, 2011

Good Morning, Fourth of July News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Jul 4, 2011 at 9:28 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Make 'em go "Ah! Ah! Ah!" as you shoot across the sky-ai! Ai! Ai! Let's go to press.

President Obama wants U.S. cars to start averaging a whopping 56.2 miles per gallon by the year 2025. True Americans want to know, "What does this mean for our monster trucks?"

Two Republicans say they'd be open to some sort of tax reform to lower the national debt ceiling. Again, what does this mean for our monster trucks?

However, Sen. John McCain says there's no way the GOP will accept ANY tax reforms or hikes, and those two Republicans who said that have mysteriously disappeared.

The FOX News Twitter feed has been hacked into, and they use this golden opportunity to falsely claim that Obama has been assassinated? MASSIVE FAIL, HACKERS.

Thailand elects their first female Prime Minister. What's next? A woman doctor?

A New Mexico wildfire threatens to destroy ancient Indian burial grounds. Looks like this wildfire is due for a haunting!

A tourist boat
off the coast of Mexico capsizes, killing at least one, with others missing.

And the hits just keep on coming: A French novelist is also accusing IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn of attempted rape.

Sporting KC takes down our Timbers 2-1—read the sad wrapup courtesy of Blogtown Timbers correspondent Brian Gjurgivich.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: A goddamn PERFECT July Fourth is ahead with sunny skies and a patriotic 80 degrees. USA! USA! USA!

And finally, HAVE A GREAT FOURTH OF JULY, EVERYBODY! (Courtesy: Super patriotic Nyan Cat.)

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