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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes: EEEE! EEE! EEEE!



Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jul 6, 2011 at 9:28 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I like the way you making me move, I like the way you making me wait, at the end of the night when I make up your mind, you'll be coming on home with me. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Britain's hacking scandal! Hackers working for Brit tabloid News of the World is in deep stink over allegations they broke into the voicemails of murder and terrorism victims.

The Army approves a possible death penalty for the Fort Hood shooter.

Congratulations South Korea, who has been chosen to host the 2018 Winter Olympics. (That's the one with the sledding, right?)

Facebook is scheduled to make an announcement today that promises to be "something awesome." Unless they've figured out a way to be less of a useless time suck, I'm not interested.

Amnesty International accuses the Syrian government of war crimes regarding their attack on a village back in May, which includes, but is not limited to, torture and execution-style killings.

After receiving a surprising "not guilty," accused toddler murderer Casey Anthony could be free by the weekend. Anybody need a babysitter?

More Molalla News! A Molallian man was shot by his brother-in-law after being mistaken for a "marauding cougar." Dude! Cougars are chicks! (You can thank commenter Todd for that tip and for inspiring that horrible joke.)

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Another hottie today, hitting a whopping 86 degrees—but a cool down is on the way, nudists!

And finally, here's that awesome Eurodisco superhero from the '80s you've been requesting: Ladies and gentlemen... SUPERSONIC MAN!

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