Marjorie and I are pals. We even hang out when we aren't working sometimes! That doesn't mean I don't secretly loathe her, though.

Which is why I'm DELIGHTED to offer you, dear Blogtown readers, the chance to inflict misery and sadness upon her! Welcome back to Discomfort Zone, the (sort of) new Blogtown series where YOU get to force a Mercury editor outside of their comfort zone... and then they have to write about it!

Here are three events the Mercury editorial staff has decided would make Marjorie profoundly uncomfortable:

Contact Improv InTouch All-Night Open Jam
From "the creator of the Wild Grace™ and DanceQuest™" comes an all-night event in which participants "come together to explore the worlds of touch, deep listening, intuitive expression, and conscious connection," according to the Craigslist page. "The studio is ours for the entire evening. We dance as long as we like and go home in sweet exhaustion." That's right, Marjorie: Intuitive expression and conscious connection with strangers. All night long. Followed by sweet, sweet exhaustion. (Wait. Is it just me, or does this sound like it might be an orgy?) SomaSpace, Sat July 16, "8 pm-LATE"

Jo Jo Jorge Falcon
Ezra recommended this one. "This is like Mexico's Robin Williams or Howie Mandel," he wrote. "All in Spanish. Will be super awkward. Look him up on YouTube!" I did:

Yes. Sitting through that would, indeed, be super awkward. (NOTE: Thanks to my investigative journalism skillz, I have deduced that Marjorie speaks Spanish at "about a second-grade level"—meaning she knows just enough to not be able to tune out Señor Falcon's routine, but not quite enough to actually get any of his jokes.) Roseland Theater, Thurs July 14, 8:30 pm

Shpongle Presents the Shpongletron Experience
"Not prepared to leave us hanging, electronic music pioneers Simon Posford and Raja Ram have continued to push the envelope and break boundaries to create yet another sonic masterpiece: the much-awaited fourth Shpongle album, Ineffable Mysteries from Shpongleland," proclaims the Crystal Ballroom site with nary a hint of irony. "There are languages here that Shpongle fans will know and love as much as their previous work, and yet there are some massive leaps forward in terms of production techniques, sonic trickery—" Oh, fuck off. Sorry, but there's no way I am reading even one more word of that bullshit. Look: It's an all-ages rave. It will be full of the same people Marjorie got to hang out with when she had to do this. This thing would drive anyone, especially Marjorie, to madness. Crystal Ballroom, Fri July 15, 9 pm

Make me proud, Blogtown! Or at least vote better than you did last time.