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Friday, July 22, 2011

SL Letter of the Day: Suggested Reading

Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Jul 22, 2011 at 10:29 AM

I am a 23-year-old straight male from Atlanta, Georgia. I've had a girlfriend for 3.5 years and we've been on and off at times but have always come back to each other. Within the first year she cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend. I forgave her. Fast forward to about a year and a half and she dumped me for one of my good friends. That didn't last long and we started talking again and again she slept with the guy she left me for. I forgave her again and we started officially dating again. She recently moved to Baltimore and we subsequently broke up. She came to visit about a month ago and we slept together and it was great. After she went back to Baltimore we started talking a lot and then she told me she slept with someone in Baltimore.

My problem is this, every time she sleeps with someone or cheats on me, I get extremely hurt. It feels like my heart gets ripped out. But every time she does this it also makes me want to fuck her and get back together with her. I know two of these times we weren't technically together but we were talking so it felt like she cheated on me. I guess I don't understand my mixed emotions, why is it that I keep coming back to her when she keeps hurting me? Also why does it make me really want to have sex with her after she fucks someone else and my feelings get hurt?

Bummed But Boned

My quick response—vacation, had to get away!—after the jump.

·················

Google "sperm competition," BBB, then order a copy of Sex At Dawn, which is available now wherever fine paperbacks are sold. Your on-again/off-again girlfriend's "cheating" may not hurt less—that's in quotes because it wasn't always cheating when she got on someone else—but you'll come to understand why your dick has an entirely different reaction to these betrayals than you do.

Off to the beach.

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