This Week in the Mercury

Hall Monitor

News

Hall Monitor

The Rest of the Police Reform Story


Eyes Wide, Crying

Film

Eyes Wide, Crying

The Many Weeping Faces of Nicole Kidman in Before I Go to Sleep



Thursday, August 11, 2011

Catherine: The Mercury Review Now Exists

Posted by Earnest "Nex" Cavalli on Thu, Aug 11, 2011 at 1:53 PM

Pro Tip: 22-year-old blonde girls are nothing but trouble.
  • Atlus
  • Pro Tip: 22-year-old blonde girls are nothing but trouble.

Straight up, I'm a big fan of the ladies. They smell nice, have pretty hair and rarely suggest "swordfights" as a way to pass time at the urinals. If I wasn't already a heterosexual dude, I'd become a lesbian.

Of course, there are always exceptions to these sorts of generalizations. For instance, I'm not a fan of women who turn into horrific nightmare creatures and try to kill me with the physical incarnations of my deep-seated neuroses. That's just no way to structure a relationship.

Likewise, ladies, if I can offer you some advice: the worst way to convince a man to marry you is to chase him up a tower full of exploding blocks, spike traps and jerkass bipedal sheep.

(I think I read that in a Dan Savage column one time.)

Anyway, The Mercury's review of Catherine is now live (and in the latest dead tree edition of the paper), so please, indulge your curiosity as to how the above could possibly tie in to an Xbox 360/PlayStation 3 adventure puzzle platformer. Bizarrely, it makes a lot more sense than you'd expect.

Comments (0)

Subscribe to this thread:

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy