This Week in the Mercury

Round Two


Round Two

The Ongoing Fight Over Airbnb Cash

Human Nature


Human Nature

The Many Moods of Michel Gondry's Mood Indigo

Friday, August 12, 2011

Frank Cassano's "Blogtown in Review"

Posted by Frank Cassano on Fri, Aug 12, 2011 at 6:00 PM

Evening, fucknuggets. Let's look back on Blogtown's week that was! Alternatively, you dull-eyed halfwits could better spend your humiliating amounts of free time doing literally anything else.

• Ezra "Ace" Caraeff (poorly) feigned outrage after being sent an unsolicited email about soap. Take the hint, ass, and get in the goddamn shower for once in your adult life.

• Sarah Mirk refused to shut the fuck up about garbage.

• Marjorie Skinner: SELLOUT.

• Succeeding in her weekly bid to appear increasingly desperate and/or pathetic, Alison Hallett casually advocated having unsolicited sexual intercourse with fictional children.

• The Mercury's crackwhorish permissiveness regarding drug abuse inspired Erik Henriksen to move his bong away from his Nintendo and in front of his work computer. Portland Police Department: I hereby demand that you raid the squalid Mercury offices immediately.

• Continuing his unwitting impression of that obnoxious Rain Man freak, Ned Lannamann attempted to use the word "forgivable" as many times as humanly possible in a single post. As usual, no one read past his third sentence.

• Courtney Ferguson broke the shocking news that filthy hippies like bullshit music festivals. Excellent reporting, Ms. Ferguson, you unbelievably insipid dolt.

• Come now, Wm. Steven Humphrey: If you're going to go to elaborate lengths to assuage your meager conscience about stealing, perhaps you should steal something worthwhile. Say, a newspaper that's actually worth reading.

I will return next week, and not one moment before. I urge you to do the same.

Comments (4)

Showing 1-4 of 4

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-4 of 4

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy