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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Discomfort Zone Welcome to the Discomfort Zone, Wm. Steven Humphrey!

Posted by Suzette "the Intern" Smith on Tue, Aug 16, 2011 at 1:29 PM

Imagine.
  • Imagine.

“I think the thing that would really get Steve, “ popular/ist commenter Graham said as we were staging a mock serial killer bedroom in his basement, “is to be bored. Just make him really bored.”

This Discomfort Zone might be like shooting fish in a barrel because, as Steve readily admits, "I am very easily annoyed by almost anything."

Cat Stories II Open Mic Event
Everyone hates an open mic. This open mic promises to expose those who don't hate an open mic all over Wm. Steven Humphrey. With cat stories. Before breakfast.
Sat Aug 20, Joe's Cellar, 1332 NW 21st, 10:30 am

Toby Keith at Sleep Country Amphitheater - Hey Warriors, it isn't that there's anything wrong with a Toby Keith concert except that Wm. Steven Humphrey would totally HATE IT. It has been suggested that Steve be forced/encouraged to dress up for this event, either wearing a turban or wrapping himself in the French national flag.
Thurs Aug 19, Sleep Country Amphitheater, Ridgefield, WA, 7 pm

The 8th Annual Dark Alice in Wonderland Ball - Another costume mandatory event! We love it when Wm. Steven Humprey dresses up. My excitement for this event may stem from my deep-seated need to see all the men in my life as goth dancers. I never before realized I also want to see them dressed up as Alice In Wonderland characters. Steve is a natural caterpillar, don't you think?
Sat Aug 20, Mt. Tabor Theater, 4811 SE Hawthorne, 9 pm

Kottonmouth Kings - This is truly brutal and unusual for a discomfort zone. Some would put this at a step below an Insane Clown Posse concert. I might put it as a step above. Truly the worst rappers known to mankind. I forgot to ask Steve how he feels about rap.
Sat Aug 20, Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th, 8 pm

4th Annual Corgi Walk in the Pearl - Steve made a big deal to shriek and act offended when we brought this up during an editorial meeting. I've checked with a few people and it seems legit. Wm. Steven Humprey hates corgis, feels unsettled in their presence and experiences vertigo when watching them run.
Sat Aug 20, NW Park & Everett, 9 am-noon

 

Comments (24) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Toby Keith or BUYA

(boot up your ass)
Posted by Commenty Colin on August 16, 2011 at 2:05 PM · Report
2
Toby Keith.
You couldn't pay me.
And, he has to dress 'hipster' to feel at home there too.
Posted by frankieb on August 16, 2011 at 2:08 PM · Report
3
Cat Slam - with the stipulation that no alcohol be ingested.
Posted by mars on August 16, 2011 at 2:13 PM · Report
4
Ummm... you guys know if you chose the Alice in Wonderland ball, I'd have to go in costume, right? It's a COSTUME ball!
Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on August 16, 2011 at 2:20 PM · Report
5
I just brought Toby Keith into a three-way tie with Kottonmouth Kings and Cat Stories, so clearly the only way to settle this is to make him attend a Toby Keith/Kottonmouth Kings jam session where they sing songs about [un]funny cat stories.
Posted by theterminizer on August 16, 2011 at 2:21 PM · Report
6
How do I vote for "All of the above"?
Posted by Stu on August 16, 2011 at 2:59 PM · Report
7
Attending the Kottonmouth Kings concert show seems too easy. From looking on youtube, they seem to REALLY like singing about pot. How about we up the discomfort a bit and require him to wear an anti-marijuana t-shirt and be a pretend "Fly High Naturally" advocate for a night?
Posted by humanclock on August 16, 2011 at 3:08 PM · Report
8
Why so elaborate? Just send him to an AA meeting. In, say, Medford.

http://www.medfordareaaa.org/
Posted by Todd Mecklem on August 16, 2011 at 3:15 PM · Report
9
Cat Slam but only because I kind of want to go to there.
Posted by kiala on August 16, 2011 at 3:17 PM · Report
10
I don't see what's so bad about Cat Slam. Cats are nice, stories about cats are funny, and Joe's has coffee.
Posted by Ovidius on August 16, 2011 at 3:39 PM · Report
11
If it's boring he hates, make him hang out with Quig. Judging by his writing, that's the most boring dude in Portland.
Posted by LionelBitchy on August 16, 2011 at 3:50 PM · Report
12
As long as you're sober! *vote vote vote*
Posted by Michelle on August 16, 2011 at 4:00 PM · Report
13
I want to see him dressed up in a ridiculous costume and made to dance like a spastic, preening goth boy. Also, send him with someone who's really into it, to compound his discomfort and record the proceedings.
Posted by The Right Reverend Rocktimus Prime on August 16, 2011 at 4:25 PM · Report
14
Yep, I knew Hump wanted to go to Alice. I bet he has the costume all laid out at home already, eyeing it lovingly when he gets home.
TOBY KEITH!!
Posted by frankieb on August 16, 2011 at 4:25 PM · Report
15
Cat Fancy, but you have to go in costume.
Posted by dmitrir on August 16, 2011 at 5:13 PM · Report
16
TOBY KEITH is a no brainer (just shy of Kootoonmouf Dickheads).
Posted by Abusive on August 16, 2011 at 5:54 PM · Report
17
OH jeez, Toby Keef. Do it for 'murika.
Posted by cat & beard on August 16, 2011 at 7:04 PM · Report
18
I think he should take it like a champ and do all of them.
Posted by Fruit Cup on August 16, 2011 at 7:15 PM · Report
19
Nay to the Alice in Wonderland. He'll get a boner and this is about DIScomfort. Kottonmouth it is.
Posted by Lewcifer on August 16, 2011 at 7:18 PM · Report
20
Why don't we send him to Kottonmouth Kings AND require that he dress as a Juggalo? Two birds, one stone.
Posted by Sperpis on August 17, 2011 at 10:49 AM · Report
21
GODDAMMMIT!!! CAT FANCY???? Fuck me! (No, seriously... fuck me. That's the only way I'll be able to survive this.)
Posted by Wm. Steven Humphrey on August 17, 2011 at 3:07 PM · Report
22
WSH, readers of this blog have been disappointed so often by this series that we need to establish a few rules:

NO, you may not go to the zoo instead.
NO, you can't drink anything alcoholic, even though it's at a bar.
NO, you may not bring a friend like Smirk did.
If a pick-up artist approaches you at the event, you have to go home with him/her.

Anyone else have anything to add?
Posted by dmitrir on August 17, 2011 at 4:29 PM · Report
23
Meow is the hour of our discontent...
Posted by mars on August 18, 2011 at 10:21 AM · Report
24
You can now view the Cat Stories II event in its entirety: http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2011/08/video-cat-stories-ii-at-joes-cellar.html
Posted by FlexRex on August 20, 2011 at 3:32 PM · Report

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