Look, I don't have a lot of time for this "blogging" thing today, okay? I'm a busy... motherfucking... dude. That's why I'm going to combine two blog posts into one, and so what if I do, there is not a single reason in the world I shouldn't. Okay, so blog post-within-a-blog post #1:

Here's a new teaser trailer for the upcoming season of Portlandia... THAT WILL NOT INFURIATE YOU. In fact, in this teaser, they make it look like Carrie and Fred are perfectly nice people, who are putting together a perfectly nice show that won't INFURIATE YOU. (By the way, I've decided to turn over a new leaf, and not automatically despise this show right off the bat when I start recapping season two. Because like Carrie and Fred seem to appear, I'm a perfectly nice people!)

Blog post-within-a-blog post #2:
Remember what I was saying earlier about how we're all super obsessed today with tiny donkeys? Well, here's something I'm super UN-obsessed with... TINY LAP GIRAFFES!!

Okay, obviously these things aren't real... because if they were, GAAAAAHHHHHH!!! In short, don't get any funny ideas, "science"! You reached perfection with your tiny donkeys. Let's not push it.