We told Bella to pick Jacob over Edward—but did she listen? NO!!! We told Bella that nothing good would ever come from marrying a pasty-faced vampire—but did she listen? NO!!! We told Bella that maniacally chewing her lip like that could cause unnecessary chapping—but did she listen? NO!!! And now she's lost Jacob, she's pregnant with a creepy huge pasty vampire baby that's going to blow out her vagina, AND she's out of Chap Stick.
This is going to be, like, the best Twilight movie EVER.