It starts with the Cowboy Breakfast - a staple in every Round-Up morning, put on by the 60-plus green-and-purple-clad Main Street Cowboys. Ham, Eggs, Hotcakes, happiness. The National Guard cleared our plates. Thanks, America!
Then, on to the Round-Up media trailer, where we were sized up by the media man (didn't catch his name). He chuckled when we told him we wouldn't be going onto the main grounds due to our lack of proper cowfolk attire. "Of course you can't," he told Sarah Mirk. "You would fit in better on 82nd in Portland." So, dressed to impress, we hit the stands.
Commence EPIC ADRENALINE-CHARGED ROUND-UP KICKOFF. Mortar fireworks, jet fighters, American flags, videos of American flags, and racing Round-Up royalties. We caught a few events — bareback riding a kick in the nuts — and watched as the rowdy riders receive their final awards.
In the depths bellow the rodeo stadium we found the gem of all clown jokes and police blotters: The Let 'Er Buck Room. Here's two reasons this is the creepiest bar of all time:
1. No cameras allowed
2. "Please keep your clothes on" signs pasted on every darkened wall
The words of one red-faced attendee summed the overarching idea pretty well: "I'm like a woman in a shoe store, I want to see ever pair in here."
Delicious fry bread with huckleberry jam at the nearby Indian Village cleansed our souls. Also, I may have eaten a yellow jacket. Here I met a gal in a hot dog costume who demanded I hugged her. See below. Expect something equally bizarre - perhaps a collection of the best rodeo belt buckles - next edition.
Now, into the night.
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