It's not what you think.

The Portland Police Bureau is on the hunt for the "Pug Bandit" — not a dog thief, but a man who robbed two Southeast Portland banks. On both occasions — one on Sept. 16, the other on 22— the man said he had a bomb on him. This proved to be an empty threat.

Why labeled the Pug Bandit, you ask? Just ask PPB spokesperson Pete Simpson:

"The suspect resembles a Pug."

Agree? Have a gander at the suspect:

I mean, maybe. It's a stretch. But clearly apparent enough for PPB to knight him with such a eye-catching title. I feel like they're ignoring a more serious issue: What the hell is coming out of his ear?