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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Crime Pug Bandit Hits PDX

Posted by Alex Zielinski on Tue, Sep 27, 2011 at 12:44 PM

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  • kittiefae


It's not what you think.

The Portland Police Bureau is on the hunt for the "Pug Bandit" — not a dog thief, but a man who robbed two Southeast Portland banks. On both occasions — one on Sept. 16, the other on 22— the man said he had a bomb on him. This proved to be an empty threat.

Why labeled the Pug Bandit, you ask? Just ask PPB spokesperson Pete Simpson:

"The suspect resembles a Pug."

Agree? Have a gander at the suspect:

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  • Crime Stoppers of Oregon

I mean, maybe. It's a stretch. But clearly apparent enough for PPB to knight him with such a eye-catching title. I feel like they're ignoring a more serious issue: What the hell is coming out of his ear?

 

Comments (7) RSS

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1
I am also concerned about his ear. I'm counting on the Mercury reporters to resolve this important issue.

I was going to complain about the failure of Mercury Reporters to resolve the second date question for the Chapman Swifts Falling Down Hard Dude makes me doubt the resolution of the Ear Thingy, but I see that he, or someone channeling him, has posted quite the comment: http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/Blogto…

Although not sure if Mercury reporters can take credit for that comment.
Posted by catbot on September 27, 2011 at 1:49 PM · Report
2
Phew. For a moment there, I thought someone was stealing pugs, PORTLAND'S MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCE. I'm glad to see that no one yet has stooped to that level of villainy.
Posted by dmitrir on September 27, 2011 at 2:35 PM · Report
3
"On both occasions, one on Sept. 16, the other on the 22, the man said he had a bomb on him, which proved to be empty threat."

Alex... two typos in one sentence. Impressive.
Posted by Strunk & White on September 27, 2011 at 2:46 PM · Report
4
Does he gasp for air like pugs?
Posted by Wubbles on September 27, 2011 at 3:02 PM · Report
5
OMG y'all, did you know the Swift Chimney Falling Down Guy totally responded in that thread? He's crazier than you thought:

http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/Blogto…
Posted by Zed on September 27, 2011 at 3:05 PM · Report
6
Yeah. Swift falling down guy didn't learn his lesson, either. He totally justified his actions by saying, "I climbed on the part that wouldn't damage the chimney." Assuming it's really him, he's candidate for PDX Douche Bag of the Year.
Posted by Fruit Cup on September 27, 2011 at 3:21 PM · Report
7
Good thing he fell, or else he may have just kept talking for fucking ever.
Posted by RolandAndTumblin' on September 27, 2011 at 3:34 PM · Report

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