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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Conflict of Interest / PANIC! Taking The Next Step (Backwards)

Posted by Ezra Ace Caraeff on Tue, Oct 11, 2011 at 3:59 PM

I was first hired by the Mercury in 1912 as a delivery boy. Us Newsies always got a thrill from delivering the paper each and every week, especially ol One Leggy Petey here. That kid loved it when Dan Savage would write about pegging.
  • I was first hired by the Mercury in 1912 as a delivery boy. Us Newsies always got a thrill from delivering the paper each and every week, especially 'ol One Leggy Petey here. That kid loved it when Dan Savage would write about "pegging."

I'm taking the next step in my career after four 11 fantastic years with the Mercury. I'm sorry to say that I'm moving on.

This is the best newspaper in Oregon, and I've loved working here. Steve Humphrey has stood up for me when nobody else would, and he's given me room to develop my strengths and interests as a journalist. There really aren't enough editors out there like him, and I'll always be indebted. To publisher Rob Crocker, too, I give my thanks. He believed in my talent and I appreciate it.

So why would anybody quit a job in the newspaper industry in 2010 2011?

My life, so far, has been characterized by taking fairly large calculated risks which have paid enormous dividends, and I don't see why I should stop doing that now. I'm moving to New Orleans...

Okay, fine, you got me. I didn't write any of this.

Truth is, I just plagiarized Matt Davis' farewell blog post from May, 2010. (The real reason I am moving to New Orleans is to join Matt on a series of Cajun adventures in research for my first Hollywood screenplay, Boat Cop Meets the British Bobby: Bayou Fever.)

Actually, I'm not really going anywhere.

Instead of leaving the nest in search of adventure with my former British co-worker (Gators and fanboats!), I'm staying in town and joining the lucrative service industry. Coke problems, Flipping Goldschläger bottles with one hand, and maybe even boning Elisabeth Shue underneath a waterfall—my life is gonna be so awesome!

But dry those tears, I won't vanish from the pages of the Mercury entirely, and if the NBA season ever starts up again I'll resume my rightful place at the Blazers' press row kid's table. I'll also still be on End Hits from time to time as well, since If I don't write at length about how vital the Boy's Life/Giant's Chair split 7-inch was to emo's glorious second wave, who will? WHO WILL, I ASK YOU???

Consider me Blogtown's David Wooderson. I'll constantly be loitering on this site in a pathetic attempt to win back a piece of my younger days. Wish me luck.

Oh, and thanks to everyone for putting up with me for the past decade or so.

 

Comments (18) RSS

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1
Miss you already, Ezra.

(Actually, I thought you left, like, three weeks ago. How many friggin' goodbyes do you get???)
Posted by Zed on October 11, 2011 at 4:16 PM · Report
2
Best of luck to you sir, your talents at the Merc will be missed
Posted by D on October 11, 2011 at 4:21 PM · Report
3
WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE ARE THE CUTE PICTURES OF CATS?
Posted by Graham on October 11, 2011 at 4:42 PM · Report
4
I'd wish you Good Luck, but I don't think you'll need it.
Off to a new adventure. Congrats.
Posted by frankieb on October 11, 2011 at 5:25 PM · Report
5
You'll be missed Ezra. I've enjoyed reading your work over the past few years. Best of luck. And if I ever find your bar, I'll assuredly drink there. Because I am nothing if not a drinker.
Posted by Fruit Cup on October 11, 2011 at 5:35 PM · Report
6
Boo. The blog will be 100% less funny without you.
Posted by s.mirk on October 11, 2011 at 6:35 PM · Report
7
I laughed when I got to the "my life has been characterized" line, nice one. 11 years is a long time to put into anything. Best of luck.
Posted by cat & beard on October 11, 2011 at 6:44 PM · Report
8
Best of luck! Getting Portlanders drunk is a noble and worthy pursuit.
Posted by The Right Reverend Rocktimus Prime on October 11, 2011 at 7:23 PM · Report
9
Does this mean the radio hour will not be returning?
Posted by Lewcifer on October 11, 2011 at 7:24 PM · Report
10
I was finally learning how to distinguish you from Ned and Nex, and now you're leaving. Why do I try?
Posted by Todd Mecklem on October 11, 2011 at 7:44 PM · Report
11
Always enjoyed your music/Blazer pieces, Ezra. Even remember when I lived in Seattle reading the show previews you did in that odd, mutant rocker dialect.

A little advice: kick the very first four or five customers out of your bar right away to set a behavioral tone.
Posted by TSW on October 11, 2011 at 9:06 PM · Report
12
Isn't this the second time there's been an "Oh, we love you so much Ezra, you'll be soooooo missed" post?
Posted by jake on October 11, 2011 at 11:25 PM · Report
13
Ezra, if you need a "cooler," I hear there's a watercraft-based peace officer who's looking to moonlight.

(He's generally agreeable, but only until it's time to not be agreeable any longer.)
Posted by Commenty Colin on October 12, 2011 at 7:41 AM · Report
14
That was the quintessential Mercury farewell post. It had everything: a jab at Matt Davis' banality, a Boat Cop reference, some real heart and was short enough that Frank Cassano probably won't take notice.
Posted by ($8239f8h248cerfehjf23@&*@ebdjhb23f237OCDBO#BD*(# on October 12, 2011 at 8:30 AM · Report
15
Ezra, on behalf of myself and jake, whose emotions clearly got the best of him, adios and buena suerte.
Posted by Joneser on October 12, 2011 at 8:57 AM · Report
16
The music reviews sucked, but there was no better Blazers blogger.
Posted by azure on October 12, 2011 at 2:25 PM · Report
17
Bye Ezra! I'll miss reading your posts and articles, and then commenting on them. And I'll miss your photoshoppery. I hope those left will still occasionally throw around some second wave emo references, since they provide me good opportunities to complain about things. Glad you're still covering the blazers.
Posted by ROM on October 12, 2011 at 2:51 PM · Report
18
Great. Now the Merc has to find someone else who does'nt know jack-shit about rap music
Posted by iceprez on October 14, 2011 at 11:54 AM · Report

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