Ladies and gents, it is time to stop hemming and hawing over when to buy tickets for this year's orgasmically hilarious HUMP! local porn film festival—BECAUSE TICKETS ARE 90% SOLD OUT. If you're interested in attending this year—and you are, because you hate being left out of anything super fun—hustle over to the HUMP! site NOW and score those tickets!

Lucky for two special people, I swiped two pairs of tickets for each of our midnight shows, and I'm giving them away for FREE! So that's one pair of tickets for the Friday, November 18 midnight show, and one pair for the Saturday, November 19 midnight show. DO YOU WANT THEM? Bet your honey baked ham you do. So send me a short erotically charged (or funny) email telling me why you should win HERE, and put "I WANT THOSE HUMP TIX!" in the subject line.

I'll give those tickets away Monday at noon! (But seriously guys, the odds are against you. Buy your tickets HERE AND NOW to ensure the sexy, sexy fun you so desperately crave!)