GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Sit on your hands on a bus of survivors, blushing at all the afro-shielas—ain't that close to love? LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Didn't empty out your wallet at Walmart last Friday? Here's your Cyber Monday cheat sheet!

Occupy L.A. (that's Los Angeles, not Louisiana... well, that's confusing to some people!) hold on to their park after police decide to postpone their eviction... for now.

Egyptians turn out in big numbers for their first parliamentary vote since President Mubarak's reign. (Too bad the military actually runs things.)

A U.N. report says that Syrian forces have committed "gross violations of human rights" against protesters such as "patterns of summary execution, arbitrary arrest, enforced disappearance, torture, including sexual violence, as well as violations of children's rights."

The hilarious and liberal representative from Massachusetts Barney Frank has announced that after 30 years on the job, he will not run for reelection.

A Kansas teen refuses to apologize to her state governor for writing a tweet that says he sucks... because, well... HE SUCKS!!

Miley Cyrus admits on video that she's a "stoner" that "smokes too much weed" and eats Bob Marley birthday cakes. WHAT?!?

The state of Ohio puts a 200 lb. third-grader into foster care citing "health concerns." Why? Does the kid have a cough?

Rob Ingram
, Portland's director of the Office of Youth Violence Prevention, passed away Sunday of a heart attack.

Portland police roust "Occupy" anarchists who have been squatting in empty houses—and get this... the cops actually said the anarchists did not belong to the actual Occupy movement, and KGW actually reported what the cops actually said! Nice job everybody!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Cloudy and upper 40s throughout the week, so get out your bicycles, fair weather commuters!

And finally, this baby enjoys being licked by this dog a little too much.