This Week in the Mercury
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Food Bagel Watch! Kettleman's Says Recipe Will Remain
Posted by Sarah Mirk on Wed, Nov 30, 2011 at 1:44 PM
If you remember, yesterday was the WORST NEWS DAY EVER because it was announced that Portland's Kettleman's Bagels is being bought out by squishy bread manufacturer Noah's.
While all the Kettleman's Bagels are being rebranded as either Noah's or Einstein's in coming months, the important question remained: Would they continue selling the same bagels? Or would Kettleman's dump the boiled perfection that's gathered it a local following and switch to stamping holes through salt-covered dinner rolls?
I just got off the phone with retail member Ruth Moore at Kettleman's HQ she says, "The way we make bagels is staying the way it is." So no recipe switch. So no need to go stockpile Kettleman's Bagels in your deep freeze.
For now. The suspicious side of me thinks it's impossible that Noah's would operate stores that don't sell Noah's bagels—even if they have a local following, I think the franchise would want to side with consistency. I think they'll not change the recipe for now, to avoid a full-on customer revolt, but once we've settled into getting bagels from Noah's, they'll transition from the current recipe to the ol' dinner rolls.
In the history of PORTLAND SELL OUTS, I'd have to put Kettleman's at the top. From worst sell-out to least-worst-sell-out, here's my list:
1) Kettleman's Bagels. ARRGGGHHHHH.
2) Tazo Tea, which recently dumped us for the Seattle 'burbs.
3) Stumptown, which got "major investment" from NYC investors.
4) McTarnahan's, which was also sold to Seattle forever ago.
5) Fred Meyer, which was bought by Kroger to create the world's largest grocer!
2
THEY'RE JUST FUCKING BAGELS PEOPLE. NO ON REALLY CARES. THIS IS A DONUT CITY AND SHALL ALWAYS REMAIN A DONUT CITY.
WAIT. WHAT'S THIS GOING TO DO TO KETTLEMAN'S CHALLAH BREAD? THIS BETTER NOT FUCK WITH MY CHALLAH.
SARAH!!!1 11 GET ON THIS STAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
WAIT. WHAT'S THIS GOING TO DO TO KETTLEMAN'S CHALLAH BREAD? THIS BETTER NOT FUCK WITH MY CHALLAH.
SARAH!!!1 11 GET ON THIS STAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
3
@Graham - I can't speak to Kettleman's, but you know where makes good challah is Crema on SE 28th. They're not being bought out anytime soon, I think.
4
@SMIRK: I HAVEN'T HAD CREMA'S CHALLAH. I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT. ANOTHER PLACE WITH GOOD CHALLAH IS BAKE AND SPICE OUT IN THE WEST HILLS: http://bakerandspicebakery.com/
WHO ELSE HAS GREAT CHALLAH? LET US KNOW BELOW IN THE COMMMENTS AFTER THE JUMP.
WHO ELSE HAS GREAT CHALLAH? LET US KNOW BELOW IN THE COMMMENTS AFTER THE JUMP.
6
I agree with your "not changing the recipe... for now" assessment. The idea that Noah's would sell bagels made from somebody else's recipe is patently absurd. I see a relationship with Bagel Land developing in my near future...
In addition to Coffee People, I would add the Nature's to GNC to Gloria Jean's to Wild Oats to Whole Foods sellout to that list. I would also add that New Seasons ultimately grew out of this sellout, not entirely dissimilarly to the Stash/Tazo/Steven Smith evolution.
In addition to Coffee People, I would add the Nature's to GNC to Gloria Jean's to Wild Oats to Whole Foods sellout to that list. I would also add that New Seasons ultimately grew out of this sellout, not entirely dissimilarly to the Stash/Tazo/Steven Smith evolution.
7
@D: Aw man, Weinhard's... That used to be some pretty decent beer.
Maybe this could be a good thing. Maybe Noah's will adopt the Kettleman's bagel recipe for their own stores as well... I can dream, anyway.
Maybe this could be a good thing. Maybe Noah's will adopt the Kettleman's bagel recipe for their own stores as well... I can dream, anyway.
8
They make a good jalapeno bagel. It has hot sauce inside. But yeah. I can't imagine they'll keep it up. And I'm just going to make a clean break from their bagels now to save myself the trouble later.
Their customer service has been sucking the last year anyway. So much so that I stopped actually going to their shops, and just buying their bagels from the deli at New Seasons. I hope NS gets a new bagel supplier now.
Their customer service has been sucking the last year anyway. So much so that I stopped actually going to their shops, and just buying their bagels from the deli at New Seasons. I hope NS gets a new bagel supplier now.
11
Yeah, I thought Full Sail was still employee-owned. Quick, someone who isn't me, get to the bottom of this.
13
Last I checked, you start a business to make money. When you get tired of runing that business, you sell it for a profit(if you can) and move on. What's wrong with that? If you want a local bagel place, why not start one yourself and stop calling other people's success selling out?
15
If selling your locally owned business to a corporation isn't selling out, I'm really not sure what is.
18
Noooooooooooooooooo!!!! Noooooooo!!
No. No. No.
However, I plan to fill our little basement fridge with Kettleman bagels instead of fancy organic hand fed grass rubbed meat. They will change the recipe. Sorry, Mr. Husband Man, about the meat thing.
(the discussion of selling out and challah is lovely, but mostly I WANT MY BAGELS UNTOUCHED. Also, I like this issue because I can get upset and outraged with a purity and simplicity that politics does not allow. Speaking of which, Alder Pastries is closed Mondays. I think I scared the shit out of someone in their kitchen this last Monday when I acted out my sadness in front of their door. It was very cathartic.).
No. No. No.
However, I plan to fill our little basement fridge with Kettleman bagels instead of fancy organic hand fed grass rubbed meat. They will change the recipe. Sorry, Mr. Husband Man, about the meat thing.
(the discussion of selling out and challah is lovely, but mostly I WANT MY BAGELS UNTOUCHED. Also, I like this issue because I can get upset and outraged with a purity and simplicity that politics does not allow. Speaking of which, Alder Pastries is closed Mondays. I think I scared the shit out of someone in their kitchen this last Monday when I acted out my sadness in front of their door. It was very cathartic.).
19
@16, Oh I understood. Furthermore, I don't begrudge people making a profit off their hard work. It just struck me as odd that someone would complain about the term "sell out" in this instance. I mean. That's what they did. Literally.
21
@RJL - I almost did a shout out to Bob's Red Mill but then forgot about it! Selling the company to the workers is what I call retiring with class.
22
I've only been to Kettleman's twice and both times, at two different locations, they forgot about my coffee order until I reminded them about ten minutes later. Not gonna miss them.
23
1. Full Sail is still independent and worker-owned, and still pumping completely awesome beer.
2. Not only did Bob give the company to the workers, within months of retiring he and his wife donated $25 million to open a new nutrition research center at OHSU. A class act if there ever was one.
3. Finally, we also have a local example of reverse selling out (selling back in?): our humble electric utility, PGE, sold out to Enron in the 90s. When Enron collapsed (due solely to market conditions and through no fault of its infallible executive team), PGE execs and board members fended off a takeover attempt by Sierra Pacific and instead made an initial stock offering and went public. Kind of neat when you think about it in this context.
2. Not only did Bob give the company to the workers, within months of retiring he and his wife donated $25 million to open a new nutrition research center at OHSU. A class act if there ever was one.
3. Finally, we also have a local example of reverse selling out (selling back in?): our humble electric utility, PGE, sold out to Enron in the 90s. When Enron collapsed (due solely to market conditions and through no fault of its infallible executive team), PGE execs and board members fended off a takeover attempt by Sierra Pacific and instead made an initial stock offering and went public. Kind of neat when you think about it in this context.
25
LOLZ
Noah's/Einsteins may leave the recipe untouched for a while but it will only be a matter of time before they bring in their ovens and start baking their bagels like they do everywhere else. One thing you don't do in business is run a franchise that has wildly inconsistent results everywhere. The only way they keep the recipe the same is if the name stays Kettleman's.
Noah's/Einsteins may leave the recipe untouched for a while but it will only be a matter of time before they bring in their ovens and start baking their bagels like they do everywhere else. One thing you don't do in business is run a franchise that has wildly inconsistent results everywhere. The only way they keep the recipe the same is if the name stays Kettleman's.
26
Am I the only one who hadn't heard of / noticed Kettleman's Bagels before all of this? Can someone post their logo?
29
: I was inspired to share this with the counter guy @ Kettleman's in Raleigh Hills to post in the store because I felt like after all these years I'd finally found a decent bagel (Yeah, I';m a New Yorker - You got a problem with that?) But now...Oy...I'm thinking they're going to do what a lot of other people said Keep the Kettleman's recipe for awhile then...Well, you know.
c
A Bagel Is More Than A Jewish Donut
by
Richard Marcus
A bagel is more than a Jewish donut,
More than a roll with a hole.
More than a strange English muffin.
A bagel’s got bagely soul.
It is something a baby can teethe on.
The true home of cream cheese and lox.
Bagels are used to tie up a boat,
To keep it from hitting the docks.
A bagel’s a friend.
A bagel’s a buddy.
A bagel never forgets.
Bagels as hard as bricks and concrete
Make wonderful weapons and pets.
A bagel is kind.
A bagel’s well rounded.
A bagel is wholesome and neat.
I’ve seen bagel Boy Scouts on busses and subways
Graciously give up their seat.
A bagel is genius,
The Einstein of bread,
The Shakespeare of flour, inspired,
The Rolls Royce of noshing,
The Buick of Bulk,
And as chewy as one of its tires.
I once knew a man who was struck by a bagel,
It gave him such a “potch” in the head.
Yet I heard him exclaim,
“I would rather be maimed by a bagel
Than be crippled by bread.”
First given to Israelites fleeing from Egypt,
Who whined, “Enough with matzo, already!
Smoked salmon on manna?
That’s a pox on the lox!
Would it kill You to make something bready?”
But bagels today?
They’ve gone to extremes,
Pizza? Low carb? Not to nag,
But vegan-schmaggegan? Tofu-banana?!
It’s like eating bagels in drag.
But in hard times like these,
A bagel’s a comfort,
A warm, chewy halos we eat.
They fill us with love, they fill us with joy,
Not to mention two pounds of wheat.
So when you’re worried or tired,
Outsourced or fired,
Caught in the grind and the crunch,
Stagger right into your neighborhood bagelry
And take a nice bagel to lunch.
c
Copyright, 2002, All Rights, Richard Marcus
30
@Tommy..agree totally on the Whole Foods saga....ditto New Seasons...overpriced store for yuppies and hippies. Urrgh
31
Are you All forgetting Henry's Weinhards Beer. When they were sold the taste of the beer actually changed. Never been the same since. Fn sellouts! Ben and Jerry wannabes.
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