This Week in the Mercury

Dropped Calls

Music

Dropped Calls

Hop Along's Tornadoes of Sound


Savage Love

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Nov 30, 2011 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I blow kisses, that put them boys on rock rock, and they be linin' down the block just to watch what I got. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Over one thousand cops raid Occupy LA and Philadelphia early this morning, making 200 arrests in LA, 52 in Philly and using what they say was "minimal force"... like shooting protesters out of trees with beanbag rounds.

The first lawsuit against former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky is filed, and alleges a child was sexually abused "over one hundred times." YEEEEEEEESH!

The woman accusing GOP contender Herman Cain of having a "casual affair" with her say they boned on and off for 13 years. Gaaaah-ross.

Two million public service workers walk off the job today in Britain, protesting a proposed pension reform. (Two million workers? Isn't that like three-quarters of the country?)

The Federal Reserve teams up with global central banks to make it easier for foreign countries to borrow dollars in a fairly desperate attempt to stop the global economy from going to hell in the proverbial handbasket.

Britain gives the finger to Iran, closing their embassy there and advising Iran to do likewise.

The USDA fines Ringling Bros. Circus $270,000 for alleged animal welfare violations. (What about their many "clown car" violations? That's cruelty, too!)

Fans of Meat Lovers Pizza rejoice: Thanks to Congress, we may all be eating horse meat soon.

Headline (so far) of the Day: "Therapist 'Brainwashed' Woman Into Believing She Was In Satanic Cult, Attorney Says." (You know... that would explain a LOT of my past behavior.)

Look guys... I know forced sterilization is wrong and all, but... Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: WHAT'S THAT GLOWING ORB IN THE SKY?? Oh, it's sun, and you can expect it around for the next few days. Wear a sweater, though!

And finally, the most effective PSA you will ever see about why you shouldn't call things "gay."

Comments (17)

Showing 1-17 of 17

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-17 of 17

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy