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Friday, December 9, 2011

Sports Breaking: Brandon Roy to Retire

Posted by Ezra Ace Caraeff on Fri, Dec 9, 2011 at 8:29 AM

Bye, Bye, Brandon

Sorry for not posting this earlier, I've had a difficult morning.

News is leaking out that Brandon Roy, the very face of the Portland Trail Blazers franchise, is retiring effective immediately.

This is a shocking (SHOCKING!) decision, especially since the Blazers front office went on record this past Monday stating their deep faith in the former three-time All-Star and his damaged knees. Earlier this week, the Blazers hyped up Roy's return to form and how he's ready to reclaim his role as a starter and NBA star. Sadly, the full extent of Roy's career-killing knee injury has never really been known (until now), but to snuff out such a marvelous career at the age of 27, it's clear that Roy's knees were damaged beyond repair.

For those more concerned with the future of the franchise, Roy's retirement means his salary will be removed from the Blazers' cap at the end of this season. Considering their upcoming crop of free agents (Camby, Oden, Felton, etc.), Portland might be set to be huge buyers in next season's free agent market.

But back to the matter at hand, this is truly a dark day here in Rip City. Roy's beaming charisma, last second heroics, and unparalleled leadership helped resurrect the Blazers franchise. Much of the team's success (both on the court and in fan attendance) from the past few years should be credited to Roy, and his presence will be sorely missed inside the Rose Garden.

 

Comments (20) RSS

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1
Remember that one episode of Seinfeld where Kramer retired and moved into an old folk's home? That was some funny shit!
Posted by Marq on December 9, 2011 at 9:06 AM · Report
2
I WONDER WHAT HORRIBLE-NO-GOOD DRAFT PICK THEY'LL MAKE NEXT?!?
Posted by Graham on December 9, 2011 at 9:25 AM · Report
3
Now I guess our hope shifts completely to Greg Oden becoming a total badass when he comes back in January. Wish hard, Portland.
Posted by ElGordo on December 9, 2011 at 9:26 AM · Report
4
Not only is Oden NOT gonna come back a badass, but the chances he comes back as even a contributing ROLE PLAYER seems tiny to me. And it's not just health issues, either. This dude hasn't played any sort of significant minutes since he left Ohio State. I'm not so much worried about whether he can withstand a schedule that will put even more strain on his body in 66 games than a regular 82 game schedule would - I'm worried that the guy has spent more time getting paid to NOT play basketball than he's played highly-competitive basketball in his WHOLE LIFE. 3 years of High School ball, 1 year of college - and that's it. There are AAU ballers with more experience and savvy at this point.
Posted by Fatboy Roberts on December 9, 2011 at 9:36 AM · Report
5
You enjoy telling kids Santa isn't real, don't you, Fatboy? It's OK, I do, too.
Posted by ElGordo on December 9, 2011 at 9:38 AM · Report
6
Up top, bro.
Posted by Fatboy Roberts on December 9, 2011 at 9:43 AM · Report
7
CAN WE BRING BACK PRYZBILLA?
Posted by Graham on December 9, 2011 at 9:47 AM · Report
8
I believe that the return of the Vanilla Gorilla IS being discussed in the Portland front office - such as it is.

Then again, these are the same decisionmakers who didn't want to amnesty Brandon Roy because they thought he could compete for the starting job again. Apparently without asking Brandon if he had any knees.

I swear to God 2/3rds of the NBA makes decisions based on the season simulator in NBA 2k11.
Posted by Fatboy Roberts on December 9, 2011 at 9:50 AM · Report
9
So. Not being a normal sports fan. Is this what people call a "rebuilding year" for the Blazers?
Posted by Fruit Cup on December 9, 2011 at 9:51 AM · Report
10
He'll probably go to Indiana and become an All-Star. Happens a lot if you've been watching.
Posted by LokNaar on December 9, 2011 at 9:57 AM · Report
11
thanks for the memories B-Roy
Posted by mole harvey on December 9, 2011 at 10:08 AM · Report
12
Very sad, unbelievable news. But the Blazers still have a pretty great roster. And LAMARCUS ALDRIDGE, who decided to become great last year when faced with my constant mockery.
Posted by Jacob Schraer on December 9, 2011 at 10:11 AM · Report
13
Hollow knees or not, he's still better than half the NBA guards. Hard to believe he's fully resigned to never, ever playing again.

Sorry about the OG break-in. I swear I saw Sean Marks skulking about N. Killi on my bike ride in today.....
Posted by TSW on December 9, 2011 at 10:29 AM · Report
14
fucking hate the Blazers at this point. Can we trade them for a football team?
Posted by # on December 9, 2011 at 10:29 AM · Report
15
also, @ezra, bummer about getting robbed. I'll head over and buy some of that bourbon this evening.
Posted by # on December 9, 2011 at 10:31 AM · Report
16
@TSW: The word on the twitters and internets is that Roy had two separate medical evaluations this week, and both doctors told him yesterday that he had to stop playing or else he most likely wouldn't be walking in a decade. For a guy under 30, with two young kids, and staring at the rest of his life, that was probably the deal breaker news.
Posted by bummer on December 9, 2011 at 12:30 PM · Report
17
Sucks about the robbery, Ezra :(
Posted by ROM on December 9, 2011 at 12:50 PM · Report
18
Ok, Fatboy, after seeing Greg Oden on the sidewalk downtown just now, I'll say that he's looking very, um, whatever the opposite of spry is.
Posted by ElGordo on December 9, 2011 at 2:25 PM · Report
19
You must have seen him walking either to, or from, his latest medical exam that just declared him unfit to play for the rest of the 2011-2012 season.
Posted by Fatboy Roberts on December 9, 2011 at 10:57 PM · Report
20
sigh
Posted by HandsomeStarheim on December 10, 2011 at 8:07 AM · Report

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