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Monday, December 12, 2011

The Spike TV Video Game Awards Were Terrible

Posted by Earnest "Nex" Cavalli on Mon, Dec 12, 2011 at 2:21 PM

How sad is it that the Spike demographic was born after Hot Shots! Part Deux?
  • Spike TV
  • How sad is it that the Spike demographic was born after Hot Shots! Part Deux?

If any single moment could serve as a summary of the entire awards show, it would be when a paid actor, dressed in military fatigues, forcefully pantomimed the act of teabagging on Call of Duty developer Michael Condrey while Charlie Sheen looked on. Sheen, being Sheen, had the look of a speedfreak vinyl muppet, which to his credit added a bit of surreality to a moment that otherwise would have been horribly baffling.

The really weird bit though, is that I can't decide if I hated the program for its glorification of misogyny and juvenilia or if I wanted to stab my television in a vain effort to end the poorly-veiled advertisement that was the entire damn show.

Not only were the majority of the awards actually announced and presented before the actual awards show, but Spike made no effort to infuse the show with any kind of professional dignity. Mark Hamill's Best Voice Acting nomination for his brilliant work as The Joker in Batman: Arkham City? Didn't even warrant a mention. You'd think that Mario and Legend of Zelda creator Shigeru Miyamoto could add a touch of class to the proceedings, but his acceptance of a Lifetime Achievement Award just threw the entire thing into sharp relief. Miyamoto, as usual, was gracious and polite, and by comparison the rest of the event was made even more depressing.

If the show had any redeeming value, it comes from the interesting game trailers that debuted periodically throughout the event. I've embedded the best beyond the jump, so those of you who had more interesting things to do last Saturday night can rest assured that you missed nothing of value.

BioShock Infinite:

The Last Of Us (a new game from the people who created the Uncharted series):

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance (which is apparently being developed by Bayonetta creator Platinum Games):

Mass Effect 3:

Diablo III:

Command & Conquer: Generals 2 (given the death of Westwood, this game is being crafted by BioWare — no one knows exactly what that means):

So yeah, there you have it. Another year, another long-winded, smug justification for never, ever tuning in to Spike TV.

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