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Monday, January 2, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Jan 2, 2012 at 9:41 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Tryin' to bring down me, the champion? When y'all clowns gon' see that it can't be done! LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Blogtown notice! Last day of our semi-vacay, which means we'll be back in full force tomorrow. Spend today working on your resolutions.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Iran has successfully tested a long range missile, and sources say they are aggressively pursuing nuclear weaponry. (I said, "happy," right?)

Rick Santorum may be in third, but could trickle out a messy victory in Iowa.

A huge manhunt is underway for the very scary assailant who shot and killed a female park ranger in the Mount Rainier National Park on New Years' Day.

Despite their promises to end the crackdown, activists say that the Syrian military is still firing upon protesters.

Did shamed media mogul Rupert Murdoch join Twitter? Well, if he's a fake, he needs to be FUNNIER.

Three separate racial attacks in Queens, New York last night, including a Molotov cocktail tossed at an Islamic Center.

In case you missed it, actor Russell Brand has filed for divorce from far more popular wife Katy Perry.

Get rid of your Christmas tree! It's a goddamn fire hazard! Here's where you can recycle yours (don't do it with those homophobe Boy Scouts though).

Apparently there's a football game today or something. Psshht.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Light rain today, sunny tomorrow, and scattered showers Wednesday through Friday!

And finally, the gays strike again! Rick Santorum gets glitter bombed in Iowa! (Though brown glitter would've been more appropriate.)

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