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Monday, January 2, 2012

SL Letter of the Day: Sex Advice That Works

Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Jan 2, 2012 at 10:59 AM

Just writing to say thanks. I'm a 29-year-old straight guy from Edinburgh, and my brother (24, gay) and I are both regular readers, listeners and iphone-app owners. I met a girl online about a year ago, we hit it off great and, as one does, the second or so time we went to bed I asked her, "So, what are you into?" She looked at me like I was nuts, then did the same again a while later, when I suggested we have sex a second time in a day. Turned out she'd never had an orgasm with another person involved, ever. So we followed the you-do-it-while-I-watch, you-do-it-while-I-help, I-do-it path that you recommend, and the problem was soon solved.

Next came the more tickly subject of kink. I have an armpit fetish: regular porn does nothing for me—I masturbate to pictures of girls with pitstains and have done since the internet was invented, and the smell of women's sweat drives me crazy. This has been a subject of fairly deep lifelong embarrassment; I think previous girlfriends probably figured it out, but I was very much in the fetish "closet." This summer, after listening to quite a lot of your podcasts, I finally managed to OK it with myself and "came out" to the GF. She was initially puzzled but willing to give it a try to please me, and now—not being a naturally very sweaty person—routinely goes without deodorant when we are together. In return she gets infinity oral (which I love anyway), no pressure to go down on me (which she likes rather less and I can take or leave) and, without wishing to cast a huge festive jinx on everything, we're ridiculously happy.

So... I'm not saying I definitely couldn't have got to this point without your advice, but I definitely probably couldn't, and that merits a big sincere thank you. Keep up all your excellent work, and have a great new year.

Grateful In Edinburgh

Thanks for the wonderful note, GIE, and a happy new year to you, your GF, and her pits.


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