I mean, look at this shit.
He put on a muscle shirt, tied a blanket around his neck and didn't even dunk the goddamned basketball. He just threw it into the hoop. And he accepted the trophy they gave him that said "Slam Dunk Champion." He accepted it and smiled. I deem thee fraud, you smiling charlatan. You and your fuzzy little muppet friend Hedo.
Remember when this walking Adam's apple jilted us at the free agent altar back in 2009? I do. Granted, it was a good thing he did so (he's one of the only NBA stars who still believes in old 70s NBA traditions, like smoking cigarettes at halftime) but still, this pindick jilted us. For Toronto.
I will be liveblogging the battle between our fast-breakin' free-wheeling Blazers and the stand-around-and-watch-Dwight-Howard Magic tonight. Game begins at 7pm. Join me.
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!