Here's what Mitt Romney thinks is behind all this Occupy Wall Street hoopla:

"You know, I think it's about envy. I think it's about class warfare," the leading Republican presidential candidate said Wednesday on The Today Show.

When asked if there are any fair questions about wealth distribution, Romney replied, "It's fine to talk about those things in quiet rooms and discussions about tax policy and the like."

Remember to only discuss your envy for alleged-quarter-of-a-billionaire Mitt Romney in quiet rooms and you should be fine. But, wait! How can we envy rich people when, according to this bigoted libertarian asshole, rich people are the new gay people?

It is no longer permissible in our civil society to hate based on skin color, gender, ethnicity, religion, disability, or sexual preference. But wealth — that’s a free-fire zone. Wealth is evil. Capitalism is sodomy. Free enterprise is lewd and lascivious conduct. Wall Street is the new Castro Street, only it’s ok to light it on fire. Even Tiffany Newt feels free to tee off on Mitt Romney for being (gasp) too rich — think Ellen reefing on Elton John to win George Michael’s vote.

It all makes so much sense! Finally, I know why all the best dance music has been coming from the Dow Jones lately!