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Monday, January 16, 2012

How Much of a Dick Am I About to Be?

Posted by Bobby Roberts on Mon, Jan 16, 2012 at 9:58 AM

Taunting_Taffy.jpg

Someone has brought this formidable bag full of salt-water taffy into the office, and deposited it in the breakroom, from whence it sings a siren song of taffy-temptation. It sings this song for me. I can pretend like I'm going to hold out, but that is what's known in the scientific community as "horseshit." I will succumb, and I will at some point begin pounding these sticky treats down my face with reckless abandon, horking back delicious bits of candy and my own fillings into my waiting gullet.

So here's the question: On the "You're a giant dick" scale of office behaviors, where does "Eating nothing but the chocolate ones and leaving a bag full of lemon and mint flavors" rank?

For reference, "Leaving less than a teaspoon of a co-worker's clearly labeled coffee creamer in the fridge for them" is a solid 8, whereas "Microwaving your kimchi in an open container" is a 6.

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