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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

But If You're Doing It Right...

Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Jan 18, 2012 at 1:29 PM

A "Savage Love" readers writes...

I would like to propose a holiday: Santorum Day. On the day Rick Santorum pulls out of the presidental race—at some point all dicks pull out—you and all of your fine readers should rush home and create some santorum of their own in cellebration of a small win for secular freedom.—Anonymous

Santorum Day wouldn't work. As I've explained before: if you're doing anal intercourse right, there is no santorum. You don't have anal sex when your ass is full of shit for the same reason you don't have oral sex when your mouth is full of food: it's uncomfortable and it makes a mess. That's why santorum is only the byproduct of anal sex sometimes, Anonymous, per the standard definition. Santorum is an unwelcome accident, not a certainty and definitely not the desired outcome (or outflow), so it doesn't make sense to encourage people to intentionally "create some santorum." You're not a freedom-lovin', red-blooded, all-American buttfucker if santorum is your goal. You're a coprophiliac. Please make a note of it.

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