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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Events / Film / Mercury Come See the REAL Red Dawn Before the Remake RUINS IT FOREVER

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Wed, Jan 18, 2012 at 10:44 AM

red_dawns.jpg

For years, there's been a Red Dawn remake sitting on MGM's shelves—like The Cabin in the Woods, it's a movie that was shot forever ago, but has yet to, you know, actually make it into theaters. (A while back, MGM even went in and did some digital airbrushing in an attempt to make the film more attractive to our inevitable conquerors.) The new Red Dawn is currently slated for a November 2012 release, at which point it will change the way you watch the original Red Dawn—one of the most perfect movies ever made—forever.

Because the worst thing about The Thing prequel isn't that it exists (even though that fact is pretty terrible), it's that now, whenever I wach John Carpenter's The Thing, I'll be thinking of the prequel for at least a few points during the movie, and TOTAL BUZZKILL. Maybe the new Red Dawn will be great (Thor's in it!), but maybe it won't be... and then? Everytime you watch the real Red Dawn? TOTAL BUZZKILL.

So get one last screening of the original Red Dawn in before Thor tries to put on Swayze's blood-spattered boots. And hey, look at that! We have a big-screen Red Dawn showing set up for you right here! With beer! And text commentary! You should come! Get your tickets here.

 

Comments (9) RSS

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1
Thor AND Tyra Collete AND Peeta Mellark? I dunno, sounds pretty awesome to me.
Posted by Joneser on January 18, 2012 at 11:14 AM · Report
2
The only people who find Red Dawn "awesome" are white kids who grew up in the 80's and are in their early thirties. There is this obsession with crappy eighties pop culture including this movie which was and is terrible. Is this meant to be "Ironic"? If so,lame. If not, just really sad.
Posted by The Showstopper on January 18, 2012 at 11:51 AM · Report
3
Yeah, don't you hate it how people like things from their childhoods?! And isn't it weird how it's only white kids who grew up in the 80's?! Why can't those people just like serious things like Avatar and Coldplay.

Good point, DamosA
Posted by Gobstopper on January 18, 2012 at 12:03 PM · Report
4
I think the ones we should be fighting against (you know, in the remake) are over there on the left.

Burrito Dawn, amirite?

Ayeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
Posted by Wetback Invasion on January 18, 2012 at 1:46 PM · Report
5
I'VE NEVER SEEN RED DAWN BEFORE. IS IT A SEQUEL TO RED SONJA?
Posted by Graham on January 18, 2012 at 1:58 PM · Report
6
WOLVERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINES!
Posted by atomic on January 18, 2012 at 2:55 PM · Report
7
It won't change how I view the original because there is no chance in hell I will watch it.

I've learned to vote with my dollars. And my vote is fuck every fucking thing about that shit.
Posted by Williams, Jay on January 18, 2012 at 3:10 PM · Report
8
I guess kids don't wear varsity letter jackets anymore, huh?
Posted by Tommy on January 19, 2012 at 3:41 AM · Report
9
Gotta throw some token extras in there so the modern, politically correct film becomes appealing to all races.... another perfectly good movie fucking ruined.
Posted by reverend74 on May 1, 2012 at 2:41 PM · Report

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