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Monday, January 23, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Jan 23, 2012 at 9:30 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! You wanna piece of my heart? You gotta start from the start. You wanna be in the show? C'mon baby... LET'S GO! TO PRESS!

In case you missed it, as Nathan reported yesterday in GMN, Newt Swingrich won the South Carolina primary, and today Mittens Romney is warning America that if Newt gets the GOP nod, you can expect an "October Surprise!" (Is that code for a sudden squirt of Santorum?)

And sorry, weird college kids... Ron Paul came in dead last.

As Denis reported yesterday, shooting victim Rep. Gabrielle Giffords has decided to step down from Congress, choosing to put her recovery first.

Two reported deaths in Alabama this morning, as vicious storms tear through the southeast.

Kentucky Republican and senator Rand Paul refuses a pat down from the TSA, and was turned away by airport officials. TERRORIST!!!

The Supreme Court sez that the cops CANNOT track you using GPS—though they refuse to rule on whether your ex-girlfriend can.

A nine-year-old girl escapes after tricking the dumbest kidnapper in the world. That's not to minimize her heroism... but Jesus! This guy was DUMB!

From the Oregonian: "A state liquor inspector has resigned after allegations that he had sex with his wife and with a girlfriend in an office in the Hillsboro Police Department's East Precinct. He also was accused of using a state account to buy gas for his personal car." Umm... of course he bought gas! How's he supposed to get his wife and girlfriend to the office??

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Sun will peek out today, but get ready for more heavy rain tomorrow and Wednesday!

And finally, Aerosmith frontman and American Idol judge Steven Tyler kind of slaughters the National Anthem at the beginning of yesterday's AFC Championship football game. (I just think he sounds like Steven Tyler—I mean, what did they expect? But the reactions of the players and coaches are priceless!)

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