24 Hours Till Everyone Shuts Up About the Florida Primary: OH GOD. SO CLOSE. In the meantime, Mittens is still far ahead Newt in the polls, Newt is still being sued for using "Eye of the Tiger" as his theme song, and massive pythons are still the scourge of Florida swamps.
It's Election Day in Oregon! If you happen to live in David Wu's ex-district, in West Portland all the way to Astoria. It is very, very likely that Suzanne Bonamici will triumph over Rob Cornilles tonight but, still, get voting!
Um... Panic? A US intelligence report says Iran is totally willing to attack the US.
Getting Serious: Hillary Clinton is heading to the UN to chime in on plans to pressure Syria's leader to step down, rather than continue slaughtering protesters.
Getting Even: Virginia State Senator Janet Howell was disgusted by a bill that would require ultrasounds for women seeking abortions, so she tacked on a clause requiring rectal exams for men seeking erectile dysfunction prescriptions.
One Trillion Dollars! That's what the deficit will hit this year.
Stephen Colbert's Fake PAC Raised $1 Million: He's pretending to spend the cash on zeppelin rides and unicorns.
Occupy DC Evicted: The protesters vow to remain in their camps despite police requests to move along.
High Stakes Stress Test: The UN testing Japan's nuclear reactors to see if they can withstand another emergency.
Sad Story: The 11-year-old with a gun on the MAX has been placed in state custody.
Cops v. Cameras: A court case in Eugene sets the precedent that police can't review material on cameras without a search warrant.