This Week in the Mercury

Past, Present, and Future

Music

Past, Present, and Future

Elvis Depressedly's Constant State of Flux


Supermercado Sweep!

Food and Drink

Supermercado Sweep!

Digging Deep into the New Portland Mercado



Tuesday, January 31, 2012

#SexyWhitePeopleProblems

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Tue, Jan 31, 2012 at 12:59 PM

If you haven't read today's Savage Love Letter of the Day, I urge you to do so immediately—especially if you feel like becoming ENRAGED WITH ENVY. Nutshell: Two wildly sexy people (photo attached, OMG) are complaining because the equally sexy girl they want to have a threesome with is engaged.

#SexyWhitePeopleProblems

Anyway, I would happily murder every kitten in the world to boink these two, and it's incredibly frustrating to know that a) they'd never boink me in a billion years, and 2) even if they did want to boink me, they'd ultimately say "no thanks" at the last minute because I murdered all those kittens.

Seriously, READ THIS THING. It will simultaneously make you horny and lose all will to live.

Comments (6)

Showing 1-6 of 6

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-6 of 6

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy