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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Finally! We Have the Recipe for Toddlers & Tiaras' "Go-Go Juice"!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 2:29 PM

gogo.jpg
  • via TLC

Perhaps you remember this video which Courtney called "the worst/best six minutes of your life"? It's from the absolutely batshit crazy reality show Toddlers & Tiaras, and features a little 6-year-old squidbilly named Alana whose terrible mom jacks her up on something she calls "Go-Go Juice" (that comes out of a creepily nondescript bottle) before each pageant.
For months I've been wondering, "What's in this 'Go-Go Juice'? Because... ummm... I may want some if it's of the cocaine variety." And now? WE FINALLY HAVE THE ANSWER! Mama Squidbilly June Shannon revealed the ingredients on Good Morning America. Via the New York Daily News:

More specifically ["Go-Go Juice" is]: Mountain Dew and Red Bull mixed in a bottle and chugged before pageant time.

While it isn’t clear how much of the concoction Alana actually drinks, each bottle would contain the equivalent of two cups of coffee.

Shannon said that lots of mothers use caffeine and sugar to keep their kids ”focused” before the show.

She’d tried feeding her daughter “two bags” of sugary Pixi Stix but it didn’t have the desired “energizing” effect.

"There are normal people who give their kids this,” she said. “Why is it such a big issue with us pageant moms that do it all weekend to keep our kids energized and awake?”

"There are far worse things," she said. "I could be giving her alcohol."

 

Comments (7) RSS

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1
Attention aliens: now is the time to invade and destroy our civilization.
Posted by cat & beard on February 8, 2012 at 2:42 PM · Report
2
As a vegan, I don't eat anything with bulls in it.
Posted by ($8239f8h248cerfehjf23@&*@ebdjhb23f237OCDBO#BD*(# on February 8, 2012 at 5:04 PM · Report
3
WAhhahaha. WHyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? why? Dear God in Heaven why do you let these people breed?!?!?!
Posted by firemonkey on February 8, 2012 at 8:17 PM · Report
4
That stuff is pretty tasty when you add enough Vodka.
Posted by Rosy on February 9, 2012 at 3:15 AM · Report
5
Hair isn't vegan, dumbass!
Posted by Tommy on February 9, 2012 at 4:49 AM · Report
6
When I was a kid we just had something called "crosstops."
Posted by Todd Mecklem on February 9, 2012 at 7:01 AM · Report
7
I truly pity these kids. I cannot even watch this show.
Posted by The Showstopper on February 9, 2012 at 12:59 PM · Report

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