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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Santorum Says Obama Might Force the Catholic Church to Hire Female Priests

Posted by Paul Constant on Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 3:59 PM

Oh, no! This morning, Rick Santorum said that President Obama might force the Catholic Church into not treating women as lesser beings than men:

This is a president who, just recently, in this Hosanna-Tabor case was basically making the argument that Catholics had to, you know, maybe even had to go so far as to hire women priests to comply with employment discrimination issues. This is a very hostile president to people of faith. He’s a hostile president, not just to people of faith, but to all freedoms.

Okay, first of all, this is a bullshit scare tactic that's not based in any kind of reality. But second of all: It's clearly impossible for women to take on the priesthood. As everybody knows, women's bodies simply cannot handle the Word of God being delivered directly into them. Their little baby brains simply weren't "intelligently designed" for it! Only men's rugged frames can carry the immense weight of the Truth of Jesus. (Also, women probably would not enjoy raping children as much as male members of the clergy do, which could lead to some awkward breakroom conversations.) Let's leave the gold lamé gowns and fancy hats to the fellas, the way Jesus intended, okay?

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