This Week in the Mercury

Every Woman

Music

Every Woman

Esmé Patterson Rewrites the Songbook


For British Eyes Only

Film

For British Eyes Only

Alan Turing's Legacy Lives in The Imitation Game



Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Feb 22, 2012 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Yo, back up now and give a brother room. The fuse is lit and I'm about to go BOOM! LET'S GO TO PRESS.

After a much needed break, the Republicans are debating again tonight—and it's becoming more and more clear that the GOP has no viable candidate. In related news, Ha-ha-ha.

Obama is scheduled to offer up a new corporate tax plan today that promises to eliminate loopholes. (Ummm... don't the big corporations depend on loopholes?)

Outspoken and tubby New Jersey governor Chris Christie tells "tax the rich" billionaire Warren Buffett to "shut up." Buffett responded, "I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up."

Syrian security bombs the shit out of the central city of Homs taking the lives of hundreds of civilians including two Western reporters.

A huge train crash in Argentina claims the lives of at least 49, injuring 600.

Courts are ordering Occupy London out of their camping site in front of St. Paul's Cathedral. But 'oo will feed the birds, guv'nah??

Speaking of British things, singer Adele flips the bird on live TV after her speech went on for too long. You rock n' rollers are so wild and rambunctious!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: More of the same rainy crapola for much of the day, BUT! A nice dry day tomorrow!

And finally, let's go to the world of pugilism, sports fans, to introduce the most boffo new sport of 1949, BLINDFOLD BOXING! Roll the film!

Comments (10)

Showing 1-10 of 10

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-10 of 10

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy