In case you haven't already heard, pre-ordered the lipstick, and tried on the sweater, the new season of Mad Men debuts March 25, preceded by a barrage of corporate tie-ins urging you to mimic its characters' meticulously groomed and pressed looks. Yesterday morning, Banana Republic went so far as to interrupt the napping and reading of passengers on Virgin America Flight 407 with an inflight runway show at 35,000 feet to showcase the second season of their Mad Men collection for men and women (passengers were compensated with gift bags and bloody marys).

That's cool and all, but it's simply less important than the impending season two debut of GAME OF THRONES, which begins airing on April 1, and for which nobody has tried to sell me a goddamn thing. Dude I can go to a thrift store and find everything I need to play '60s-era hot secretary, but you know what I can't find? A direwolf fur collar, a raggy, midriff-baring triangle top worthy of a khaleesi's heart-eating party, and a quilted Nightwatch tunic for my man! Plus can you imaging the promotional stunts? A model for the Banana Republic Game of Thrones clothing line would have ridden right onto that plane on a black stallion, promptly decapitated it in the middle of the aisle, and given business class a "bloody" experience they would really never forget!