Back Off: In an apparent response to a U.S. sergeant's Sunday shooting rampage in Afghanistan, President Hamid Karzai demands that the U.S. pulls back from combat outposts in the country.

Which also leads to... The Afghan Tailban suspends peace talks with the U.S.

Face Time: Archeologists find an unclassifiable—but clearly human—skull in China, tentatively deem the 14,000-year-old artifact a new species.

And How!: The White House hosted a fancy pants state dinner last night in honor of visiting UK Prime Minister David Cameron. A clusterfuck of celebrities and political money slingers, commence.

Just for Kicks: As briefly mentioned by Marjorie yesterday, it was meant to be a St. Patty's-esque pun on the drink combining a dark beer (usually Guinness) and a light beer, but Nike's "Black and Tan" shoe faces criticism. Turns out it was also the nickname for the British militia sent to quell the Irish rebellion in the 1920s. Whoops!

Smear Not: Fun news, ladies: Doctors say you only need a pap smear every three years, instead of ever year. Here's to keeping those legs closed!

Rod Behind Bars: Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich kicks off his 14-year prison sentence today for a corruption conviction.

Losing a Legend: The reigning "worlds ugliest dog"—a mix between a Chihuahua and a Chinese crested— died yesterday at the age of 15. Who's at bat?

The Shins, You So Crazy: Did you know? You can stream all 10 tracks of the Shins' newest album, Port of Morrow, on iTunes.

Ending on a Pleasant Note: Here's an ad from the new CDC anti-smoking campaign. Adorable!