This Week in the Mercury


Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Blazers' Trade-Deadline Autopsy: Let's See What's On the Slab. (UPDATE: Oden added to the Butcher's Bill)

Posted by Bobby Roberts on Thu, Mar 15, 2012 at 12:36 PM

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UPDATE: Via Ben Golliver at Blazer's Edge, Greg Oden was waived from the team as well.

Early today, as the rumors began whirling, this was the question: is management trying to rebuild a brand-new team under Nate McMillan's feet, hoping to give one of the more respected coaches in the NBA some solid ground to stand on?

As the deals became solidified, the question became: Are we witnessing the lower floors of a building getting demolished? Will the next two months will simply be the slow descent of the entire structure, clouds of destruction billowing out from 1 Center Court as the as a season once filled with hope and optimism completely implodes.

The Answer: Nate McMillan is fired.

So: No coach. No real GM. Raymond Felton. Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2012 Portland Trail Blazers.

A couple weeks ago, Joel Przybilla, the Vanilla Gorilla, came out of retirement to rejoin his beloved Blazers. He shortly thereafter regained the love of his fans by teabagging Ricky Rubio in a Minnesota Timberwolves game.

Said teabagging was the only real high point (should you wish to call it that) of the game, which the Blazers went on to lose 122-110. At least, it was the high point according to my twitter feed, which was full of Vanilla Gorilla fans ecstatic at having seen a move most Xbox Live account holders have seen so often they can close their eyes and witness a negative image of it imprinted on the back of their eyelids.

It now appears the gentle resting of the Gorilla's yambag upon Rubio's tender head is now the last "high point" of the season.

Details of the coroner's report after the Y-cut:

Footage of interim GM Chad Buchanan recieving the answer to his Raymond Felton offers from every NBA GM in the league.
  • Footage of interim GM Chad Buchanan recieving the answer to his Raymond Felton offers to every NBA GM in the league.

Today hasn't been fun to watch in the slightest. In fact, watching what's happening to the Blazers is akin to watching the family pet get hit by a bus, and now we're driving the whimpering thing to the vet to do what must be done.

I mean, let's look at what we've coughed up vs what we've gotten in return. Away goes Marcus Camby and Gerald Wallace. On their way to collect a check for the next two months before they come off the books is Mehmet Okur, Shawne Williams, Jonny Flynn and Hasheem Thabeet.

I have it on good authority that if you replace the words "Dream Police" with "Hasheem Thabeet" the below song works JUST as well, if not better.

Oh yeah! Greg Oden is still on the squad (see above update). As are Jamal Crawford - who I'm sure is going to be super-motivated to play hard after the last 48 hours so devastated him that he couldn't even manage to take a nap yesterday - and Raymond Felton.

I wonder why every team in the league turned down offers for Felton?

Hunh. I don't see it.

As Ben Golliver of Blazers Edge points out - The Blazers are now at 17 bodies on the roster. Who gets cut, especially considering at least 4 or 5 of these bodies are walking dead? Is the combined 20 mil of Camby/Wallace salary, and this rough collection of expiring contracts going to be enough to fend off the Sacramento Kings, hovering on the periphery, just waiting to snatch up Nicolas Batum with a fat offer sheet in the offseason?

The answers are hard to see in the midst of all this debris, and it's gonna take longer than the next 20 games to clear out this rubble.

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