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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Roller Derby Recap: High Roller vs. Heartless Heathers

Posted by Joe Streckert on Tue, Mar 20, 2012 at 8:08 AM

The Hearthess Heathers star jammer Blast Unicorn weaving her way through enemy lines.

I had every expectation that Saturday’s sold-out bout at the Oaks Park hangar was going to be a blowout, as the struggling Heartless Heathers went up against the undefeated High Rollers. The High Rollers defeated the Heathers 155-102, but the Heathers defied expectations and proved they could put up a fight.

The High Rollers came out with an early lead, and the first ten minutes of the bout were fairly low-scoring. Goodie Two Skates and The Blast Unicorn eventually managed to chip away at the High Roller’s score, taking advantage of numerous penalties on the part of the Rollers. Late in the first half the Heathers had a ten point lead over their opponents. The underdog lead did not last long, though. The High Rollers retook the scoreboard when Minstrel Psycho pulled off a game-flipping twenty-point jam. The High Rollers managed to extend their lead to 71-48 by the end of the first half.

At the start of the second half, The Blast Unicorn narrowed the score to 73-67, and for a brief moment it looked like the Heathers might have been able to retake the lead again. However, the Heathers' jammer bench was too shallow to contend with the High Rollers. The Rollers were able to field a variety of consistent jammers who danced around the Heathers’ defense. Even with excellent performances by The Blast Unicorn and Goodie Two Skates, the Heathers couldn't keep up. The High Rollers' Sully Skullkicker pulled off an amazing 25 point jam towards the end of the game, sealing the Heathers' fate and prompting a demonstrative announcer to exclaim "Holy chalupas, Batman!"

However, the Heathers proved that they could, at times, go toe-to-toe with the High Rollers. They weren’t able to seal the deal, but they also stood their ground and avoided a route in the face of the High Rollers' amazing offense. The High Rollers got their victory, but they had to actually fight for it. Holy chalupas, Batman. Holy chalupas, indeed.

More of Sharkey’s tremendous photos after the jump.

Another picture of The Blast Unicorn doing what she does: BLASTING!

Honey Hellfire zooming through the Heathers, showing them just what High Rollers can do.

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