Comedian Jeff Foxworthy
—best known for his series of jokes entitled, "You might be a redneck if...," being the host of Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?
, and being "the Larry the Cable Guy of the early '90s"—has been cast to host a new quiz show on the Game Show Network titled, The American Bible Challenge
, in which (you guessed it) contestants are quizzed on their knowledge of the Bible! From the GSN press release, via TV Zone
The contestants will share their compelling back stories and each team will be playing for a worthy faith-based organization. "I am excited to be hosting a show about the bestselling book of all time. It will be interesting to find out what people really know, and an opportunity to present the Bible in a fun and entertaining way,” says Foxworthy.
While I'm sure Jeff and the show's producers think they've got the concept for this show all figured out, I already have some ideas of ways it could be better. For example:
1) When a contestant loses, he/she falls through a trap door into an actual lake of fire.
2) The show's announcer should be dressed as Jesus, and sit there chuckling out loud at all of Jeff's jokes.
3) One category should be called, "Justify that Bible Quote" in which the contestant has to justify the existence of an obviously immoral Bible verse such as this one:
"Happy those who seize your children and smash them against a rock." (Psalm 137:9)
4) The winner gets lifted via a cherry picker (disguised as a "cloud") up to "heaven" where someone dressed as "God" shakes their hand and then creepily gropes them as the credits roll.
5) Jeff should wear a devil's costume and whenever a contestant has a correct answer, he yells, "CURSES! YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN MY HOUSE!"
6) The person who gets second place is stuck in Purgatory (i.e. forced to live in an on-set cage with all the other second place losers until the show is eventually cancelled. Shouldn't take more than six weeks.)
7) The audience should be comprised almost entirely of gays and atheists, who mercilessly heckle everyone until they burst into tears.
Now that's a show I'd watch. (Got any ideas of your own?)