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Friday, March 23, 2012

SL Letter of the Day: Coming Out Kinky Worked For Me

Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Mar 23, 2012 at 10:29 AM

I'd like to comment on the guy who wrote in last week about his submissive fetish. I was reading his letter, and it was like looking a few years back in time. I have exactly the same fetish—assuming SUB also enjoys being written on with lipstick and gagged with his partner's thong—and, like SUB, I used to worry that there was something wrong with me. I had a hard time fully enjoying vanilla sex, and I wondered how on earth I was going to find a woman willing to treat me like I needed to be treated.

But I took your advice Dan. I stopped treating my kinks like creepy character flaws, and started treating them like what they are: fun quirks about me that don't hurt anyone and make me extremely happy. So when I talked about sex with friends, I brought up what I was into, without shame or guilt, and I found out that I wasn't the only freak out there. All my friends had kinks of their own, and a lot of them were actually similar to mine. And then there were two vanilla girls....

They were both close friends of mine, and because I wasn't dating either of them, there was nothing wrong with hooking up with each of them. And you know what I learned about these good, innocent girls? With a little bit of encouragement and exploration—and booze, booze helps—they both turned out to be just as kinky as I was. One of them had different tastes to mine, but I fulfilled hers and she was more than happy to fulfill mine. And the other, well, she turned out to be my fantasy-woman. She wanted to tie me up, stuff her underwear in my mouth, and lead me around the room on all fours by a dog collar, and fuck me anywhere she chose. And these are both some of the best people I've ever known outside of the bedroom too.

SUB may worry that he's alone out there, or that he's never going to find a woman for him, but it's simply not true. Maybe his dreamgirl is the good Christian who's still a virgin, or the science nerd who can't have orgasms (yet!), but there are girls out there for him. If SUB wants to feel sorry for anyone, it shouldn't be himself, it should be all the kink-less people out there who never get to experience the supreme high of having a kink fulfilled. Just relax, SUB, and you'll find her. And your fetish isn't really that bad. It's not like you want to fuck dead, shit-covered puppies.

Unusual Sex Enjoying Dude

P.S. By the way Dan, as an apology for how long this is, I thought it would polite to send a couple pics. Enjoy!

Oh, great. Now I'm going to be buried in angry emails from the DSCPF community. Thanks, USED, thanks a lot. (USED's pics—with USED's permission—after the jump.)

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